* Maxabella loves...

Resignation

2012-02-23T21:00:00.006+11:00

res·ig·na·tion

1. Unresisting acceptance of something as inescapable; submission.

All that rolling. I resigned from my job. Unexpectedly and without much preparation, I resigned and that was that. It was something that I needed to cross of my list of things to do before I go insane. I'd never quit a job before. Well, I'd left jobs to go travelling or to university or to another job that seemed better at the time, but I'd never quit because I just couldn't stand it any more.

It was one of the most brutal things I've ever done.

After five and half years, I am leaving a job I love. The reasons are many and varied, but have everything to do with the way that people are managed in a large corporation. The things that egos will do to get ahead and the type of shenannygoating that goes on and is acceptable. It's not for me. It was never for me, but I loved it regardless.

I honestly can't understand that and frankly don't want to.

I'm terrified to soon be untethered from my career. A lot of my sense of me is tied up in that lot and I'm uncertain and bewildered to be almost free. Regardless, I can see the light and it's bright and brilliant.

Have you ever quit?

[Image via Facebook]

Getting ready to roll...

2012-02-22T21:00:00.016+11:00

Do you remember when all you needed was a hill?

When you did things just because they were fun?

You didn't worry about getting dirty or getting hurt...

... or maybe you did, but you went ahead and did it anyway.

I am on the top of the biggest hill ever and I'm getting ready to roll.

I just really hope there's some rock with my roll.

Oh, please, just catch me if I go too fast!

Things I have seen that I wish I could see forever

2012-02-21T21:00:00.002+11:00

Forget unseeing, my life has also known so much beauty that my eyes get tired from looking. Here I could put my husband, my children, Ryan Gosling and all the usual suspects. I'm going a bit more 'external' than that. I have also allowed myself only two travel-related items as I could write down twenty of them without stopping if given half the chance.

Things I have seen that I wish I could see forever.

1. Petra at sunset
It would mean going back to Jordan, but it would be worth it.

2. Fireflies in Mozambique
It was the most amazing sight you could imagine.

3. My house just after I've cleaned it
If only it would stay forever in that state. Forever clean, I wanna be forever clean... sorry, had a bit of a random Youth Group moment there.

4. Our bank account just before we put down the deposit on our house
It was so big and purdy.

5. Picasso's La Joie De Vivre

So hard to choose a favourite, but I think this might be it.

What things have you seen that you could look at forever?

[Image by Small Fish in the Big Taco]

Things I have seen that I wish I could unsee

2012-02-20T21:00:00.000+11:00

I'm sure we all have images burned onto our retinas that we can never take back. Once seen, they can never be unseen. They are part of us for life.

Five of the things I have seen that I wish I could unsee.

1. A man getting brutally bashed.
This was in Nairobi. He stole a bag. They bashed him.

2. Inside my friend's vagina.
This is a story I only ever tell after about 47 glasses of wine and 3 tequila shots.

3. The lint filter of my washing machine after discovering that my 2 year old washing machine has a lint filter.
No further correspondence will be entered into on this matter.

4. The ultrasound of a blighted ovum pregnancy
That sweet mother's face is the bit that I can never unsee.

5. The home of an obsessive-compulsive hoarder
I have had an aversion to clutter ever since.

What things have you seen that you wish you could unsee?

[Image (which technically has nothing to do with this post but it has binoculars and is pretty) via weheartitbutdon'tcreditit - please let me know if it is yours]

Do I really want to 'do' Easter?

2012-02-19T16:00:00.000+11:00

I'm a sucker for a celebration. I like to throw myself into these things with abandon and go large. Christmas, birthdays, anniversaries, sometimes Australia Day, sometimes not.

Easter has always been, well, Easter. Little old Easter. If you're not religious (and if you were, I'm guessing Easter is big), Easter is the most relaxing holiday of them all. Start with a few chockies left by the rabbit in any old hat, throw in bunch of flowers, a croissant breakfast and a disorganised backyard hunt complete with melting eggs and lots of fights. Easter.

Now Pinterest has come along and I'm seeing that Easter can be so much more than that. There's this whole random Spring-themed, chicken-birthing, egg-painting thing going on in many homes.

Do I want to deck the house with a pastel themed tree like Martha recommends?

Or add a sweet little wreath to the door to add a touch of Springy humour to Autumn?

Am I going to make egg candles with Martha (please, Martha, do go away)?

Gulp. Do I want to do the Every Kid In The Class thing?

Do I really want to do Easter? Another seasonal celebration that we're kinda in the wrong season for?

Do I? Do you?

[Main image: Easter craft and image by Kim at Retro Mama]

52 weeks of Grateful: Nature

2012-02-17T21:00:00.000+11:00

I'm generally a big fan of nature. There isn't a problem in the world that toes-in-the-sand can't solve. Or the smell of gum leaves. Or cold mountain air. A valley view.

I really don't like a lot of it, though. The random things that bite. Great wads of leaves just flying everywhere. Things pooing with abandon, spiders lurking. And don't get me started on getting sand out of the car - the laborious cost of those wonderful toes-in-the-sand moments.

Yeah, I'm really more of a patio kind of girl.

But throw my Tsunamis into our backyard, let them climb and run and dig, swing them on the tree swing and I could never, ever go back to city living. And boy am I'm grateful for that.

Now gals, I've noticed a distinct drop in Grateful link-ups lately. Sob.

Are you over linkies / me / being grateful / life?

Do let me know what I can do to win you back again.

Come visit me at Kidspot today!

So, what's making you smile today? Add your post to the list below (and please, we love you, but it really does matter that your post is a Grateful one and not just a random) and pretty-please add a link back to this linky or to Kidspot. Then pop over to visit other bloggers who are spreading a little sunshine.

[Collage of my backyard made using my new best friend: Photovisi]

Newborn mums

2012-02-16T21:00:00.000+11:00

This post is for my dear friend, who is struggling right now.

'Baby' is such a beautiful word, so full of history and promise and love. Squishy-ishy cuddles and sweet smells and overwhelming joy that makes you look at your partner in a whole new way. We made this. The closeness that a baby brings is magical. We made this, together.

'Baby' is such a scary word, so full of hurt and responsibility and unknowables. Selflessness, smells and overwhelming worry that makes you look at yourself in a whole new way. I did this. The terror that a baby brings is gut-wrenching. I did this, only me.

Late at night when all is finally silent and you're lying there, wide-awake, wondering, know this:

You are a newborn mum. You were born only eight weeks ago.

You are still missing the womb. Your baby and you; both utterly terrified to be out. Untethered. Nurture yourself as kindly and carefully as you nurture your new baby. There are no wrong ways, no right ways, just ways. There is no blame or guilt, only you and she and him and right now. The newborn world is relentless, but it has a rhythm of its own that you will find if you are gentle. Give in to the moments and trust that the future will take care of itself when it is ready.

You are a newborn mum. You were born only eight weeks ago.

What advice can you give my friend right now?

[Image via Facebook]

Cutie pie vintage

2012-02-15T21:00:00.000+11:00

I adore getting creative with clothing. If I was skinny, I would be one hot dresser but it has come to my attention over the years that pre-1998 no-one appeared to be overweight and they certainly weren't six feet tall. Nothing vintage fits me. I'm lucky to get a roomy Sussan XL to fit me right now, but that's another story.

I initially wanted this post to be about gorgeous vintage clothes and the girls that become them, but I noticed something odd when deciding who to feature. The poses. All the gals who do the vintage look, well, they do the same poses as well. Are the poses vintage too?

What happens is that all these wonderfully quirky individuals end up looking a lot like each other. Somewhere along the way, whatever makes them 'different' makes them exactly the same. And, really, what is it with the 'little girl lost' poses? Does wearing vintage also mean you have to regress back in time yourself? The women I'm featuring here, and the stunning clothes they wear, are all marvellous, absolutely marvellous. And yet...

I'm not sure what to do with it.

The hair twirl

(aka the cutesy one leg bend)

This is Veronika from Girl and Closet

This is Ally from The Vintage Valley

This is Keiko from Keiko Lynn

The something very interesting is happening over... there

This is The Cherry Blossom Girl

This is Rachel from Smile and Wave

This is Elycia from Love Elycia

This is Sophie from Her Library Adventures (love this girl)

The leg cross

This is Esme from Esme and the Laneway

Elycia

Veronika

This is Amy at A is for Ampersand

The skirt tug

This is Lilli from Frocks and Frou Frou

Esme

This is Kaylah from The Dainty Squid

The 'who little ol' me?' pige

(my personal fave)

See? Like I said, I don't know what to do with it, but there you go.

Do you like a vintage fash blog too?

Are you partial to a leg cross? A pigeon-toe? A twirl?

[Main photo is by Rachel at Smile and Wave]

My life, but not my life

2012-02-13T21:00:00.000+11:00

The thing about this raising children business is that we can't live their life for them. When the chips are down and their little faces are creased with worry or sadness, I just want to step in there and take over the reins. Pull that great steed called Life up and say 'whoa there Life, whoooooooa'. But I can't.

My mantra of 'I won't worry unless they worry' only works if I'm not worried. Maxi spent last Monday at home with a 'sore tummy'. I know what makes a tummy sore: frangled nerves. Because he always struggles with change (new school year, new classroom, new friends, new everything and, worse, no best friend because Elliot moved away at the end of last year) we decided to humour him. He stayed at home in bed, for the whole day. LOML was on duty. He let him out of bed for 5 minutes at 'recess' and 10 minutes at 'lunchtime' and the rest of the time he was bored out of his brain.

On Tuesday he skipped off to school with a trio of stuffed rats in his pocket, 'just in case'. In case of what, I'm not certain, but I think they were there in case he didn't have a friend in the playground. Made my heart and my bottom lip wobble. The fact that he was skipping in, the fact that he'd come up with a solution to his worries all on his own - all that was lost on a worrying mumma. My boy, he struggles. Or maybe it's me that struggles.

We can prepare them, we can love them, we can smooth their shirts and fluff their hair, but we can 't live it for them. We send them out there day after day into a world we know can often be cruel and indifferent. We try to focus on all the bright lights and the kind gestures and the fun, the games, the simple joys. But the fact remains, we are as uncertain of their path as we are of our own.

We can't live it for them. We can't even live it for us half the time. So I'm trying really hard to stuff my pockets full of rats and be happy that they're in there.

What worries you most about your babies out there in the big wide world?

[Image by Charles Gullung]

Through the Instagram: Little peek at January

2012-02-12T16:00:00.001+11:00

I still miss my Fridge Chronicles and often wonder when I'm going to get around to bringing them back, but I'm well into these little Instajournals each month.

Dancing on the beach one moment...

... dancing in the rain the next. That was January in Sydney for you. What am I gonna do when Picnik closes? Does anyone know of a similar type of site that let's you collage your pictures?

But back to January...

Always a momentous occasion when I grow an actual fruit. The strawbs are flourishing in the rain and then rotting on the bush as the Tsunamis think they are too sour. I can't win.

Random nautical people - I just love this shot. See below.

We went to a pirate / mermaid themed one year old's birthday party on a harbour cruise. It looks fabulous up there, but it was all a bit nauseating in reality (I am not good with boats).

Plus, the actual party looked like this...

Note to self: cruises are not a good idea for kids' birthdays. But I knew that already. The green sea-monster woman up there is my darling sister-in-law (the Best Aunty in the Whole World), Lucia. She's my right-hand-woman for all things party and she was a godsend for our friend at this one too.

Yes, I still have pimples at 40. Oh, and ignore the boat hair, won't you!

There's another lovely beach. This time at Manly, where we excitedly met LOML after work off the ferry...

... and I thought 'I could do this life'.

I could definitely do this life.

My most organised outing ever at Taronga Zoo.

A night out for pizza. We'd never been to GPK before, but it was really lots of fun. The pizza was pretty awful, but I'd recommend the decidedly un-pizzaish Teryaki Chicken.

We've so enjoyed our watermelon smiles this Summer.

Or any kind of smiles, really. These two are so like my little sister and I that it just makes me want to go back in time so we can play together.

A little mushroom light I bought at Lark. Awful photo, lovely mushroom light.

And then it was back to work...

... and back to school.

And that's a January wrap.

Do you still get pimples?

How long have you had them?

I have had them for 29 years.

52 Weeks of Grateful: Food

2012-02-10T21:00:00.000+11:00

Each week in 52 Weeks of Grateful I'm putting a prompt up for everyone. It's a little thought-starter which you can follow... or not.

Today, I'm grateful for scrummy-yummy, delicious, 'all will be all right with the world' hugs.

Hugs don't have to be hugs to be hugs. THANK YOU for all your emails of support and care and little words to help me swim out of that darn river. Every single one helps and every single one is treasured. I have no idea why many of the notes I received started with the words 'you probably don't need to hear this, but I just wanted to let you know'... oh my good god, I need to hear it! Everyone needs to hear it!

Every kind 'how are you' note that I received reminded me to send a similar one off to lovely people I am wondering about myself. Just a little 'are you there, I'm here' message. I won't go into the details, but one of those messages I sent out really meant something this week. REALLY meant something. A (non-blogging) friend needed someone and I was there because you were there.

I was there because you were there.

That's the sort of food I like the most - food for my very soul.

Come see me at Kidspot to see what I think about the 'other' kind of food.

So, what's making you smile today? Add your post to the list below (and please, we love you, but it really does matter that your post is a Grateful one and not just a random) and pretty-please add a link back to this linky or to Kidspot. Then pop over to visit other bloggers who are spreading a little sunshine.

[Image via Pinterest. Please let me know if it's yours. Keen Maxabella lovelies will note that I used a very similar image back in July last year...]

A message to teenage me project

2012-02-10T14:51:00.000+11:00

Just wanted to mention that I'm linking up this picture (that I originally used on one of my Grateful posts) with the 'A message to teenage me' project at Scissors Paper Rock. When I read posts like this one at Rhonda's, it makes me realise that we've got a lot to say to teens that sometimes just doesn't get said.

Please contribute to Claire's project. I really think it might make a difference to someone lost one day.

What advice would you give to a teenage you?

[Original image by Shannon Blue. Words added by me. I heard them in a preview of that new 'cocoon' style movie coming out that's got Judi Dench in it... I heard these words and I just though 'oh, so true' and then 'oh, so comforting'.]

Party on down: Decorations

2012-02-08T21:00:00.000+11:00

For me, decorating a party is almost as much fun as the actual party itself. I know some find it daunting, but my approach is that most parties really only need a streamer and a balloon, so anything else is a bonus.

So that's the pressure switch turned off.

After that, I try to think freely and come up with something fresh and fun to design and make. It's a way to express myself and try something different. Whatever you do, do something. I think it's a lot easier to have a fabulous time when the scene is set right. To set that scene, remember to think three dimensionally - celing, walls and floor. For the purposes of this post, I'm focusing on the 'up'.

To get you started, here are links to some easy-to-follow tutorials for the basics.

Enjoy!

Poms

A favourite... we're all a bit over them really, but the kids just love them and they are just so party. Don't forget our old friend: the wool pom pom.

Image from: Peppertowne

Tutorial from: Polka Dot Bride

Pom pom vines tutorial: Rifle Design via Once Wed

Wool pom pom flowers tutorial: Ivey Handcrafted

Pinwheels

Pinwheels are fun as wands and can have a lot of decorating impact strung as a garland or emassed in a vase.

Pinwheel tutorial from: Project Weddings

Pleated pinwheel tutorial from: 508

Garlands

My favourite! Balloons strings are a great place to start a garland - just remember to keep things light! Anything you can hang on a piece of string makes a lovely decoration. Buttons, photos, strips of fabric, balloons, streamers...

Snowflake garland tutorial: Oh Happy Day

Paper garland tutorial: Hambly Screenprints

Flower garland tutorial: Oh Happy Day

Words garland tutorial: Creature Comforts

Fabric bunting garland: The Purl Bee

Wooden garland tutorial: A Subtle Revelry

Mobiles

Sort of like a vertical garland, really. If you make one for each party guest, you've got a take-home gift right there! You can buy embroidery hoops from Lincraft and the like which you can paint or cover it with ribbon, or just use plain (I like plain), then you can hang anything you like! Mobile making is also a fab party game.

Vellum mobile tutorial: Project Wedding

Hungry Caterpillar mobile tutorial: Pottery Barn Kids

Fabric mobile tutorial: Sew She Sews

Hot air balloon mobile: Brown Accents

Other hanging stuff

Bottles with little flowers, lanterns, old Christmas baubles, toys on string, kites, hula hoops, wrapped food... if it matches your theme, hang it. Pop a glow stick inside a balloon and hang that too.

Bottle vases image: Eat Drink Chic

Umbrella idea from: JL Designs

Lantern tutorial: You Had Me At Bonjour

Image: Sarah K Chen for Jessi Haack Design

Balloons

A party isn't a party without a balloon. Display a big, generous bunch or you can snazz up individual balloons rather nicely.

Animal balloon tutorial: Martha

Flower balloon tutorial: All Things Simple

Ice cream balloons: Craftzine

Pinatas

I was going to leave pinatas for the 'Games' post, but a pinata is as much decoration as it is fun. They are actually very easy to make if you stick with a basic shape and add some pizazz. This is a great activity to share with the kids.

Pom pinata tutorial: Celebrations at Home

Number pinata tutorial: Oh Happy Day

Pull-apart pinata tutorial (great for inside parties!): Ikat Bag

There is loads more party decorating inspiration on my Pinterest board - Party on Down: Decorate. You might even find some ideas that don't involve a ladder!

Are you party crafty?

Would you like to see a post on where you can buy stuff instead?

Next time: Games

[Main image: Pinterest - not sure of the source, sorry!]

The Lazy Song

2012-02-06T21:00:00.000+11:00

Today I don't feel like doing anything.

I just wanna lay in my bed.

Just gotta make the kids and chickens breakfast, get them dressed, brushed and off to school (kids, not chickens), amuse the Badoo, tidy up with a small person helping, clean up after the small person who helped, phone the plumbers, phone the gardeners, phone lifeline, race to the shops, find a park, do the grocery shopping, swap the wrong size raincoat I foolishly bought Cappers, find a pair of trainers that Cappers will like (blue but not boyish, not pink, maybe purple), drive home, make Badoo lunch, tidy up after Badoo lunch, amuse the Badoo, make afternoon tea, do the school run, collect six kids (and a euphonium), administer afternoon tea, get all kids changed and run them to pottery class, take Badoo and a spare to the park, amuse the Badoo and the spare, drop spare home, pick up after pottery class, make dinner while supervising homework, run the bath, put kids in the bath, take kids out of the bath, drown self in bath, dry kids, assist into pyjamas, administer dinner, clean up after dinner, greet returning hero husband, love you love you love you, watch husband feed chickens, reward any shred of good behaviour for the day with marbles, brush kids' teeth, bedtime routine, send children back to bed who get out of bed threatening no marbles for tomorrow, grimace at husband, threaten to close their bedroom door if they come out one more time, eat own dinner with husband, smile at husband occasionally, make paper flowers for the kinder lunch tomorrow, shower, brush teeth... ... ... I just wanna lay in my bed.

'Cause today I swear I'm not doing anything.

Nothing at all.

When was the last time you got to have an actual Lazy Day?

[Image by Vanessa Paxton via Flickr]

Anxiety makes me anxious

2012-02-05T16:00:00.000+11:00

I've been bleating on about being anxious and drowny and I wanted to ask for your help. Don't stress, just support and advice. I'm not even close to the sidebar PayPal button.*

When I'm feeling anxious and unsettled, I feel like I'm completely different to everyone else and that I'll never fit in. It effectively perpetuates itself because being anxious makes me more anxious.

I think it helps to know that we're not facing anything unique in this life. Someone, somewhere has been through it all before. It would help to know that I'm not the only one who gets anxious about things like:

my children being liked and fitting in
me being liked and fitting in
my children's sleep
my sleep
change, of any description
settling into a new school year (see above)
work pressures and being made to do stuff I don't like (see above above)
access to diet coke (as you do)

What sort of things make you anxious?

Of course, silly me, I have absolutely zero strategies for dealing with anxiety and stress. Seeing a movie takes my mind off anything and, conversely, getting outside as much as possible. A hot bath and an early night seem to help. Until they don't...

Do you have any tips for dealing with that knot in your chest?

How can I help it go away?

* Ouch. Sorry about that!

[Image via weheartit. Please let me know if it is yours.]

52 Weeks of Grateful: Smiles

2012-02-03T21:00:00.000+11:00

I am grateful that this week's grateful was about smiles. I needed to be looking for them.

I'm not one to sweat the small stuff, but the big things drench me from time to time. Yes, I'm still in the river, I'm afraid. Drowning a bit. Just a little.

Sometimes a little knot of anxiety ties itself to my chest and I can't undo it without using my teeth. Change and not knowing the ending are usually the causes of anxiety for me. I need to read the last page first and it distresses me when I can't. Not knowing how things end makes me itchy.

See, writing that just made me smile: I just outed myself as a dreaded last-page-first reader.

Do you read the last page?

What's making you smile today?

Come see me at Kidspot to see what else I'm smiling about.

[Image by Salome Jinx via Flickr]

Ready or not, here you come?

2012-02-03T13:19:00.000+11:00

We've counted to way past 100, sun. Are you coming out to find us?

[Image by Vanessa Paxton via Flickr]

My blog broke

2012-02-02T10:02:00.000+11:00

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!

My blog has gone on some kind of weird bingeand eaten many of my posts.

I can’t get them back.

My ground-breakingly brilliant* musings on Facebook, summer,body parts and kindness are lost forever. My life-changing post on... that dog thing maynever see the light of day.

The crowds gasp, a small boy weeps...

Normal transmission will resume with Grateful tomorrow...

Inthe meantime, let’s all just look at the pretty picture. Ah, lovely.

Has your blog evergone AWOL?

Thanks for all the (very funny) comments on the lost dog post, BTW.

* Note perception of writing quality rose sharply when itwas found that works were lost forever.

[Image via Pinterest and lost in credit hell after that. Please let me know if it's yours.]

The dog thing

2012-02-01T21:00:00.000+11:00

Paint it red

2012-01-31T21:40:00.001+11:00

Summer sweetness

2012-01-29T18:25:00.002+11:00

52 Weeks of Grateful: Kindness

2012-01-27T21:00:00.000+11:00

What the face?

2012-01-25T21:00:00.000+11:00

The daily drive

2012-01-24T23:11:00.000+11:00

Back in the day LOML and I rarely used our car. Our first car (for both of us) was a little turquoise manual Ford Festiva. A super-small car that's easy to park in the cramped inner-city, but LOML and I are 'big people' so I imagine many people thought we were driving by on our way to the circus.

We traded up a size to a silver Subaru Impreza hatchback when Maxi came along. Then a year later we had to upgrade again to a blue Subaru Outback because we couldn't fit the 'big rig' double pram in the back of the Impreza. Yeah, I know, the sensible thing would have been to rethink the pram, but hey, we were sleep-deprived.

Two years after that* we got the black seven-seater Ford Terror to accommodate three car seats across the back and all the assorted prams, scooters, bikes and friends that a family rolls with these days. We've had the Terror for three years now and we still have the Outback. The Outback Terror of it all.

Before we moved out to live amongst the sticks, we never drove a lot. Now we have two cars and we have to drive one or both of those cars most days to go anywhere. I've never properly adjusted to that. The fact that we need not just one but two cars, most days. A little while ago we had a few weeks where we loaned the Outback to LOML's sister and it was a really complicated, inconvenient few weeks indeed.

We rely on our cars. Eeek.

I miss being able to walk out our front door and go somewhere. We still do a big walk up to the shops or over to a friend's place or down to the park, but it's not the same. It's an excursion to walk anywhere these days, rather than just the way we get around. I used to walk to the city for work from our old place, now it involves a car ride, a train ride and a walk.

It's the only thing I don't like about our entirely likeable home. The fact that it's not close to anything at all. Impossible to change that, but who has hours and hours free to walk places?

How many cars do you have?

Do you still get to walk a lot?

* Looking back on that list now, I realise that LOML and I do seem to lack forward planning skills. Heh, heh, does that make us inefficient 'family planners'?

[Image via weheartit - please let me know if it is yours!]

Red rag to a bullshit

2012-01-23T21:00:00.001+11:00

Some people are just so outrageously different to ourselves that it's somehow personally offensive. Even though they aren't really affecting us in any way - they are technically just getting on with their lives and we with ours - we feel the need to say something to them, to somehow get involved.

I'm not certain why that is.

There must be a fundamental part of us that is born to rally. To state our case, to defend our beliefs, to rise against the tide. The older we get, the more likely we are to defend what we know and question what we don't. But it's a red rag to a bull, isn't it? Even though we want to go gently, we're going to have to take on the might of the bull at some stage with only our wits and our little red rag to defend ourselves.

I think it's important to keep going, though. As long as you have an open and curious mind and continually seek to question and investigate your own beliefs, I support anyone who is willing to hold up that red rag and say 'enough'. Even if I don't believe in what you believe in, even if I question your reasons for needing to defend them, even then.

Because what's the alternative? Getting mauled by the bull anyway, that's what. So many people see that little person out there in the centre of the ring and say, "she's wasting her time, she'll never win" and they look away. But they are the herd, not the bull fighter. Time spent standing up for yourself is never a waste of time.

I say, don't be afraid. To question things you don't understand. To suggest alternatives. To ask for things to change. To stand up and be counted and, in the gentlest, most kindest way possible, to take on the bullies, the selfish, the arrogant and the cruel. Fight the bullshit, whatever it takes, even if you don't think you can win, even if you're a lone figure and people question your motives and maybe your sanity. Even if you question them yourself. Because at the end of the day, our fight is all we've really got. The trick is to know when you've won.

Do you stand up for yourself?

Do you believe in anything enough to take on the world?

♥

This post is dedicated to Melissa. Belief alone is peace, my friend.

[Image by Cassia Beck]

The things I cannot buy

2012-01-22T16:00:00.000+11:00

52 weeks of grateful: Inspiration

2012-01-20T21:00:00.000+11:00

Yikes, this is the first post I've written using Blogger's 'new look' interface. I know the new look has been around for ages, but I clung like a barnacle to the 'old look'. I'm no good at having to learn new things. That's why eventually Blogger just kicked me over to the new look without so much as a 'guess what'... it's best just to spring new things on people like me. Ahem.

A (somewhat laboured) segue into my post this week... inspiration. Can you be a creative, inspiring soul when you are adverse to change? Is a barnacle inspirational? I think not.

I am such a creature of habit that if it wasn't for my need to express myself creatively, I would be very barnacle-boring my whole life. But to stay inspired, we need change, we need diversity, we need adventure. We need to shed our inhibitions and throw ourselves naked into the stream of consciousness that is all around us. Life is better when you're inspired to express it as uniquely and creatively as you can.

What inspires you most?

Don't forget to visit me at Kidspot and join in with this week's 52 Weeks of Grateful project. It's a fun one! I'll post on Kidspot usually on Wednesdays and here on Maxabella loves... on Fridays at 9pm. Sorry for mixing it up so much lately while I get settled. Bear with me, lovelies!

The link is open all week.

[Image by Shannon Blue]

Mindfulness is a bit boring

2012-01-19T21:00:00.000+11:00

Dealing with Difficult People: The Return

2012-01-18T21:00:00.002+11:00

Yes, it's true. I've missed my light-hearted look at a very heavy-hearted subject. So, you know, I thought I'd bring back the series they tried to ban.*

Previously we've covered:

# 1 The Newborn
# 2 The Competitive Parent
# 3 Negative Nelly
# 4 Snooty Salespeople
# 5 The Toddler
# 6 Bullies
# 7 Yummy Mummies
# 8 Aggressive Drivers
# 9 The Desperate Newcomer
# 10 Rude Bastards

Clearly, we have barely scratched the surface. There is no end of difficult people to deal with out there. The passive-aggressive, the control freak, the bossy boss, the fitness freak, the corporate wanker, the mother-in-law, the lollipop lady... oh, I could go on.

Yes, I'm going to offend someone, maybe lots of someones. There are an amazing number of people out there who cannot laugh at themselves or others. My aim is not to offend, but rather to offer a lilypad through the mud of human relationships.

For we are all Difficult People at heart.

Who would you like to add to my list?

Would you like to contribute a Difficult People post of your own?

* Dramatic license may or may not have been used in this sentence.

♥

If you're part of our 52 Weeks of Grateful community (and I really, really hope you are), just letting you know that I'm going back to posting at 9pm on Fridays, with the Kidspot posts going up earlier in the week. Last week was too weird, huh? It's a weekend leisurely thing for me! See you tomorrow. x

[Image: Of course, Difficult People would not be the same without the amazing talents of at Suse Bauer at Revoluzzza. I thank you, my friend.]

Through the Instagram: little peek at December

2012-01-17T21:00:00.006+11:00

Here's what Instagram reminds me that I did in December. December? Wasn't that, like, a year ago???

December begins with a quick work trip to Melbourne for a shoot.

Which beats the rest of my working life, which generally looks like this. Oh, another meeting, what a surprise.

But it's Christmas all around, so how can we be anything but joyous?

Admiring DJs and a random store window...

One of the many festive gatherings we... gathered at was an early Christmas lunch at my in-laws.

Buon Natale!

And then it's holidays and we're off down the coast to Gran and Pop's place.

The local skate park gets a work out.

I highly recommend using the skate ramp as a slippery dip.

Outta my way tough skatey kids, my trike is coming through!

No doubt about it, kids are never happier than when they're in water...

... or lounging in their homemade cubby.

Christmas day was a cracker. My whole family was together - nine grandchildren (aged seven and under) and nine adults (aged under seventy). I mainly used my 'real' camera, so Instagram only captured the tiniest peek.

Aside from Christmas, the biggest news going in December was a certain haircut. Hello face, I missed you!

I won't even ask you how your December was... how can I possibly expect you to remember back that far!

Unlocking the cage

2012-01-16T21:00:00.002+11:00

I know the thought of working outside the home terrifies some mothers, but the thought of not working terrifies me more.

I've had a job of one kind or another since I was 13 years old and working for someone defines me in so many ways. After twenty years, the rhythm and jolt of corporate life is as much a part of me as anything else. I may rally daily against the bitter politics, the needless to-ing and fro-ing and the egos (oh, the egos!), but I work hard and smart and... it suits me.

Despite appearances, I am a low-risk, security-craving kind of a person and although many people encourage me to get out there and work for myself, that is surely the most terrifying thing of all. To be honest, after so many years in corporate life, in my heart I simply believe I have nowhere else to go.

But, I'm 'better' this year, remember? I'm better. And for many years I've craved... something more. I've felt wasted and I've wanted to get out of big corporate life and do... something else. What and how and where and when, I do not know. But this year I'm at least going to find the courage to think about the possibilities and explore some options.

Thinking can't shake me too much, can it? So what have I got to lose? Oh, please, don't answer that!

Have you ever felt trapped in a cage that only you hold the key to?

[Image by RebeccaVC1 via Flickr]

The most annoying mother in the world

2012-01-15T16:00:00.003+11:00

Last week I took the Tsunamis to Taronga Zoo. Fresh air, giraffes, water play, family time, education, picnics and views. What more do you need for a brilliant day out?

Of course, there are the crowds, the heat, the stairs, the hills, the smells and the ‘big day out’ melt-downs to contend with. The zoo is not so much an outing as an expedition. Previous zoo visits have resulted in trying to convince the staff that the three over-stimulated, over-tired children they see before them do not actually belong in the monkey enclosure.

Not last Wednesday. Last Wednesday, I was the most annoying mother in the world. Not to the kids, but to the other mothers.

I took the three on my own and it was the best day ever. The Tsunamis were beautifully behaved, mostly because their mother was calm, patient and organised. Of course, I had to manoeuvre my way out of a few Badoo At Large moments, but she soon bought into our perfect-family-moment.

I remembered the wet wipes. That pretty much sums up how annoying I was. Especially when I insisted on handing one across to the mum whose child was absolutely covered in ice cream. She was equal-parts relieved and horrified.

While other parents screeched at their kids to stop getting so wet in the water play trench, I called out, “I’ve bought your swimmers, children. Do you want to go in?” The mum with the saturated child shot me a look that could kill. I handed her a towel.

The snaking line for the hotdog stand involved a very hot wait, but we sat at our shady picnic table (of course we got a picnic table) and ate our sambos and fruit and crackers. A mother jungle fowl (only at the zoo) stopped by to show us her three babies and, in a moment that I commissioned Disney to script, we fed them with crumbs from our sandwiches. A mum in the hot dog stand line curled her lip at me.

At day’s end, the line for the Sky Safari was long and involved and I thought our perfect day must surely come to an end. All around us children melted-down and complained of boredom and dehydration. My three played i-spy and complained that the water from our insulated bag was too cold. The mum behind us was very grateful when we offered to fill one of her bottles, but I know that she secretly wanted to stab me.

As we winged our way over the zoo in our little Sky Safari pod - after a quick flip to fold up the stroller (envious stares from the mum next to us with the gigantic three-wheeler) - I looked over at my three beaming children neatly on board and I thought to myself, “I am surely the most annoying mother in the world”.

And I liked it.

Would you have killed me?

Do you, like me, notice those ‘perfect’ families wherever you go?

[Image found on weheartit - please let me know if it belongs to you!]

52 weeks of grateful: family

2012-01-12T21:26:00.004+11:00

* With apologies to my treasured 'regulars', in all the excitement, I forgot to mention last week that I'll be posting my Gratefuls on Thursdays from this week onwards... join in at any time, of course! *

We had a little trip to the zoo on Wednesday, just me and my three Tsunamis. I'll write a big post about that next week (there is much to tell), but beforehand I wanted to share one of those little moments we sometimes capture that make everything worthwhile.

A brother's arm placed gently on his little sister's shoulder.

That's what family means to me. Support, just because.

What's making you smile this week? Add your post to the link at Kidspot (you can also add it below this week until we get used to the whole thing!) and come join us as we celebrate all the little things that make up such a big thing. I've posted more on family at my Kidspot post this week.

Have you captured a little moment like mine?

Did you just want to burst into tears at the sight like me?

Goodbye sweet holidays

2012-01-11T21:00:00.008+11:00

I'm back to work tomorrow. A bit of a groan, a bit of a sigh. Actually, a big groan and sigh. Mainly because I know how much hard work is waiting for me after an extended break. And life gets a lot more complicated when I'm at work. You can't really win, can you?

I have so enjoyed these past three weeks. Being able to kick back and just hang out with the Tsunamis has been wonderful. They are growing up, my little people. I am no longer 'that mother' with three children under 5 and it's amazing how much easier our life has become. That said, as much as I love our 'usual' lifestyle, there is not a lot of room for just sitting and being. I need to make more space for that. When life slows down, the little things get a moment to shine and grow.

Key for being 'better' this year, is being better at slowing down. We will finally get those chickens, I'm planting vegetables and giving some fruit trees a red-hot (watered) go. All extra work, of course, but of the best and most satisfying kind. Most importantly, I'm going to try to be a lot better at not worrying so much about how tidy my bloody house is. What a waste of concern that is. My aim is to keep this relaxed holiday vibe alive throughout the year and appreciate the stillness at the heart of each day.

What's your number one tip for slowing down?

PS - Clock The Badoo's haircut up there! The best little cut ever. She was all hair and now she's all cute.

When real is really scary

2012-01-10T21:23:00.002+11:00

I have offered my blog as a safe-haven for a writer to write something out...

Firstly thank you to Maxabella for offering to me to write this post. It is the hardest thing I have ever written. It makes it real, for so long it has felt safe in my head, a story, a fictional life, but it isn’t. Life is not as dark as it may seem in this post, this is a mere slither, generally life is full of wonder, beauty and things to be grateful for and again thank you to Maxabella for reminding me of this. Oh yeah, and sorry it is really long!

When Maxabella emailed me earlier this week concerned that she couldn’t find my blog I didn’t know what to tell her. Part of me wanted to reply with some fluffy reason and another part of me wanted, needed to be honest.

You see late last week I all but deleted myself from the online world. Here is why.

Growing up all I wanted was a sister. Someone to play with, hold hands with, feel safe with and someone to share life with. But I already had a sister, an older sister, just not the one I wanted.

Schizophrenia is such a broadly used term these days but in the 70’s it was still a taboo subject. She, (I will call her she), has a mental illness, loosely diagnosed as schizophrenia but it is more than that. She is paranoid, angry, and worst of all violent. When she is triggered she is the scariest thing I have ever seen. Throw in a mass of illegal substances and really, you don’t want to even think about it.

This was my reality growing up. Thankfully not constantly, she would come and go and my parents protected me from the worst of it. Generally, I had a happy childhood, apart from these instances where she would again blow in to our lives.

When she was fine she was what I always wanted and still to this day part of me wishes she was. Another part of me, a larger part of me wishes she would expire from this earth.

I often question why there is so much tragedy in life. Innocent children with terminal illness, parents and children separated by tragic accidents, when people like her, seem to be invincible. Untouched by anything including the pain, hurt and fear to their victims.

In violent rages she has attempted the worst, family members including children have been exposed to this. I have too, in an incident that is my clearest memory, sadly, even moreso than the birth of my children. I remember breaking free in a split second of chance and running. I never knew I could run so fast. If only I was running toward something. I can’t articulate the feeling, or maybe I just don’t want to. Then a few years later in one violent eruption of rage she did the worst. A member of my family.

Finally, after so many years she was taken away. The relief I thought I felt wasn’t there. It intensified, for I knew how it would play out. Just as it had in the past. A master at manipulation and even with all of her history she would deceive her way out all too soon. Forever would have been too soon.

It is hard to explain what it is to live your life in fear. It isn’t a constant fear, which I know some sadly live with every day. God, I couldn’t even imagine. It is just a fear that is deep down in a pit deep in your stomach. Your senses are more acute, you feel the tingle of your adrenaline on the verge, ready to fight or flight, and it will instantly when needed. It may be walking down the street and you feel you have to look over your shoulder. A shadow out of the corner of your eye. It may be coming home and entering an empty house. It may be the strange noise in the middle of the night, or even in the middle of the day. The fear can be gripping, paralysing. My mind will race 1000 miles an hour playing out all the scenarios. Where I will hide, where I will run. I am never ready, but always preparing.

Many years have passed with nothing to be heard of. I have kept my profile low and getting married, the first thing I thought about wasn’t the joy of new beginnings with the love of my life, it was the relief of no longer carrying my family name. I couldn’t sign those papers quick enough.

But all this lead to complacency. Not a total lack of fear, but the feeling of what it is to lead a normal life. I started to do things I loved doing using my name. The online world beckoned and I began business. Along came social media and out there I was. Then I discovered blogging. Hesitant at first I again became complacent. It was liberating to feel free to write about my life, my family, the ups and downs, sharing funny and happy moments. A part of me was still careful of disclosing everything, but it did feel wonderful to relax a little.

Until now.

In a flash it all returned.

It only took me about an hour to wipe myself from the online world, although I am sure not completely, (is that even possible?) but enough for me to feel safe. Safe enough.

Now I am in limbo. Going from wanting to change my name, wanting to disappear myself, wanting to crawl in the corner of my wardrobe for as long as it takes for this storm to pass....again. But then, in the same moment, I want to be strong. To keep going on with life as it is. To be grown up. To stand up. But that is harder to play out than in my head.

I miss my blog. I miss sharing my thoughts. Perhaps it is what kept me sane all these years. My journals, my diaries, my writing, and then my blogging. The blog posts still run through my head continually. Maybe they will stop one day. Maybe not. After all I am a writer and it isn’t something you can just switch off, it is just now I have to do it just for me.

I have considered reinventing my blog under a pseudonym or anonymously but I can’t get my head around doing this. I want to be authentic, I want to be real. I don’t want to have to hide. But the world is a dangerous place, generally. There are people out there who can’t believe their lucky stars at what people share on line. We are today, the most accessible we have ever been.

For me, for now, as I said, I will write privately. This will pass. I think I will return in some anonymous state. I have a lot to share and perhaps I can share more that way. Perhaps in fact anonymously I can be free without caution, without the fear. For once.

One day life will be good. All the time. One day the fear will leave. I only dare to dream of that feeling, I know it feels good. I close my eyes tight, the tears well. Imagine. One day.

♥

You never really know what is going on in a person's life at any given moment. The hidden pain, the sorrow, the fear. My dear friend, you are a brave soul and your blog is much missed.

You need to do what is right for you, but I do think you can be totally anonymous and still be 'real'. I am sure many reading this would agree.

Do you think you can?

[Image via weheartit]

Hello 2012: One word

2012-01-08T16:00:00.005+11:00

Again I say it: happy, happy new year. The year is kinda new every day when you think about it. We can achieve our goals, create possibilities and keep that uplifting feeling of 'maybe' for as long as we want. Encouraging when I look back at all the broken 'new year' resolutions I've made. There is still time.

I don't really do them, resolutions I mean. Instead, I focus on a word for the year. Generally I come up with some lame play on words for the year (this was last year's feeble attempt and the year before that was two thousand and zen, god love me). But I'm having none of that this year, and not just because twelve is, like, really, really hard to work with. Twelve basically rhymes with nothing useful and with one short syllable I was venturing into territory even more rocky than last year's two thousand health-heaven. No, I'm having none of that silly word play business. It's... distracting.

This year, my word is going to be...

Better.

Everything I do, I want to question whether I could be doing it better. Am I using my resources as well as I can? Am I focusing on the task at hand enough? Are there other ways to tackle a problem? Am I being present enough? Can I save more, do more, be more and give more?

Can I be better?

I think it's essentially a year of mindfulness and purposefulness and many other important nesses. I just want to make sure I'm that kid in the front row of the class with my hand stretching into the air so bloody earnestly that you can see most of my pants and my face is red and contorted with the effort of getting that hand up there and I'm waving and screeching 'pick me, pick me'. That's the kind of year I want to have. I want to be better.

What's your word for 2012?

[Image by Sopranda Alegria]

52 weeks of Grateful

2012-01-06T21:00:00.006+11:00

Bang, crackle, pop, fizz, whirl! Happy shiny, sparkly, bubbling, bursting, brilliant, blooming year!

Too late? Are you over the new year thing yet? I'm just getting started, baby!

Oh, so happy to be back for our Grateful linkymajig. Late last year when I had my extended blogdrop* the thing I missed the most was this Grateful community. Our little gang of earnest, striving souls who just want to be better, do better and, most importantly, notice better. For the rest of the year I wondered how I could make something more of our Grateful community.

Then Kidspot gave me a call and... we're in! We're moving over there, lovelies. I hope you don't mind. Our Grateful linky will be part of the Kidspot 52 Weeks of Grateful project that I am proudly kicking off for them. This week the linky is still on my page, but from next week (if we can sort out all the technical glitches!) it will be over at Kidspot. It will work exactly the same as it works on my blog and I'll still be on the other end, looking forward to your posts and encouraging you to stay with it. I'm really proud to be given the opportunity to, I don't know, 'blog for non-bloggers'... do you know what I mean? Being in the blog gang is so special, but encouraging others who may never otherwise get the opportunity to write and open up is something even more special.

So, each week, keep being grateful for the little things, the big things and the mundane medium things (medium is always mundane, really). I'll be doing my own regular 'This week I'm grateful for...' post from next week and linking up along with you. Join the 52 Weeks of Grateful project too - I have a great year planned with little ideas to open the gates on the flood of gratefulness that regularly threatens to drown us all in, well, schmultz. I wouldn't have it any other way!

What do you think?

Are you pleased we're off to Kidspot next week?

Are you comfy, or do you feel like things will be different?

♥

Oh, don't forget to join me tomorrow for our ' One Word ' link up. One word that sums up the year you plan to have in 2012. Bang, crackle, pop, fizz, whirl, indeed!

* Blogdrop: (n.) Blogger over self. Blog languishing. Return uncertain.

[Image by FatMumSlim for Kidspot]

Hopeful new year

2011-12-16T21:00:00.001+11:00

I'm off for the hols, lovelies. I'm heading down the coast for a couple of weeks of family loving. I won't be able to resist reading your blogs, but I think I'll keep mine post-free for the duration. We all need a bit of a break from my... opinions, I think.

Before I go, let me say thank you for a wonderful year on Maxabella loves.... This community is pure delight to me. Every 'me too', every 'how could you?', every 'but have you thought of this...' and especially every 'thank you for introducing me to...' you write, means so much to me. I hope you feel comfy here to just be yourself and shine a little bit each visit.

Be part of things whenever you can. Please join me on Sunday, 8 January for a very special linky. It's the HAPPY ONE WORD linky... actually, I'm not sure that's what I'm calling it, but I want you to choose one word (just one) that you'll be focusing on in 2012. Blog about (or just leave a comment about) why you chose that word, what it means to you and how you're going to bring it to life throughout the year. How will focusing on your word help you or change you? What will be different?

In 2010 my word was 'zen' and then in 2011 my word was 'health'. Let's just say that the zen word slowed me down beautifully but the health word was pretty much dead on arrival. I'm not sure what my 2012 word will be yet, but I'll let you know on the 8th!

Until then, enjoy Christmas and greet the new year with a wave and a smile. A big, cheery smile and maybe even an even bigger smiley, cheer. Man, it's going to be a good one. Can't you feel it?

♥

I'm back on Saturday, 7 January with a little 'Grateful' surprise... it's Grateful, but not as you know it... stay tuned!

What are you doing for Christmas?

Do you celebrate New Year or clean your house like I do?
Will you join me on the 8th?

Caught in a moment

2011-12-15T21:00:00.002+11:00

The world is a whirl of coloured lights, every house lit up with Christmas. Sparking, flashing, brilliant light, brightening my face, my heart, my toes.

And there amongst the sparkle, a young face shines brighter than any light. Joy radiates from every pore, gushing out with such lucid energy that mouths turn to smiles around him. Weary hearts dance a little jig just watching this boy race from house to house, oozing with the wonders around him. ‘He’s so enthusiastic,’ says one. ‘It makes me want to skip.’

So I skip, just a little. Bouncing in his slipstream, marvelling at it all. The world gone madly wonderful when seen through the eyes of this seven year old boy. A boy so powered by the business of living that every moment, every shred, is a reason to celebrate. I close my eyes to the brightness and a wish forms deep within: ‘Always,’ my wish says firmly. ‘Always shine this brightly.’

[Image via Pinterest]

Fawning

2011-12-14T21:00:00.012+11:00

No, I'm not talking about reindeer.

I thought I would see the year out with good cheery posts, but, alas, it may be Christmas, but I am still me.

One of the 'Big' bosses came into the office today and I am still wretching. Not on account of the Big boss, he's actually a really lovely guy, relatively unassuming and unlikely to cause a stir.

No, it was my sycophantic colleagues that made me gag. The way they whirled around him like a maelstrom of large smiles and larger voices. They boomed their utter delight that he was here, how was his FLIGHT? Where is he STAYING? At the HILTON? That's so GREAT! YOU ARE SO CLEVER TO ARRIVE BY PLANE AND BE STAYING IN A HOTEL, BIG BOSS MAN!

Oh they were so darn jolly I almost thought Santa had arrived early.

Why do people do this fake flattery thing and how can people not see straight through it? Back in the day we used to call it sucking-up and it was the scorn of the playground. I can kind of see why. I know it's a part of life and, god knows, I undoubtedly do it myself from time to time, but still. Why do we do it?

Do you sometimes wonder if celebpretties and people high up on the business ladder think people are actually like that with every one? Sort of like when you become 'big' you lose all sense of reality because your crapometer gets broken. What must their perception actually be? The world is a very complimenting and praisey sort of place? Everyone is so enthusiastic and cheerful in this life? So attentive? In many ways it might be sort of nice if we treated everyone like the Big boss, but in so many others I'm glad we reserve our fatuousness for the important people. There are only so many buckets to go around.

Sometimes the super-peppy-cheeriness is so obvious that it's like the Big boss is a curtain in a theatre. The marionettes dance when the curtain goes up and then they go back to hanging limply when it closes. I know that some Big bosses creepily demand the dance, but I suspect that most don't even notice. They probably think that the jolly nice people around them are like that with everyone. So they waltz and jive and yammer away with their happy-go-lucky team while the rest of us cringe inwardly and smile fleetingly. Yep, our smile says, you got on a plane. You're staying at the Hilton. I'll get the confetti.

Do you find yourself sucking up wildly to people sometimes?

Why do you think we do it?

[Image by bakerydelights on etsy]

Easy Christmas cheer: hosting without fear

2011-12-13T21:00:00.005+11:00

Last Saturday we had a few friends over for a little Christmas cheer. Nothing too much, just a little bit fancy. I think keeping things simple is the only way to ensure you have people over more regularly than once a decade. The less you do the more often you'll do it.

Despite giving it a red hot go with surprising regularity, I am not a natural entertainer. I don't especially like cooking; I forget to top up drinks and we never have any ice. I'm not good with crowds. As a matter of fact, I'm rather anti-social. But I do love to set a pleasing table, I love a good laugh and I especially love not having to go anywhere to get it. Hence, I bring the laugh to me.

Of course, I also love to theme! So I set the scene with a few random hanging Christmas decorations. Those little Italian drink bottles that I use in just about every party in one form or another became little vases that I strung up with some jute and popped water and festive(ish) herbs into. They looked magical when darkness (finally) fell and the herbs smelt wonderful.

As mentioned, food is not my strong point, but I do like to cater a good spread. The secret is choosing things you can make ahead so you're not stuck slaving in the kitchen for the entire party. Nothing worse than missing your own party!

We started with olivey, dippy, bready, antipasty things and we sat down for a throw-it-in-the-oven and glaze and glaze and glaze baked ham with a cranberry and raspberry vinegar glaze (kinda like this one, only cranberry instead of redcurrant jelly and raspberry vinegar instead of balsamic); a marinate-before and then throw it in the oven lemony chicken dish; a sweet potato salad that I've been making to much fanfare for about 10 years; a lentil, mint and lemon salad (I sprinkled goats cheese rather than haloumi) - this was a the surprise hit of the night and I will be rolling out again on Christmas day; and a potato gratin that was scrummilicious. A menu that basically shouldn't have gone together, but did so well.

I like to feed the kids before we groan ups sit down to enjoy ourselves. I spread out a big picnic blanket (okay, so it was the quilt pulled hastily from Maxi's bed) and they had mini-chicken or beef sausages on freshly baked rolls with a cucumber and tomato salad that went largely uneaten. The huge fruit bowl was devoured, however, so we all felt like they had earned their mini-vanilla ice cream cones with a choice of sprinkles to dip. Hmmm... do put the sprinkle-dip station outside... days later I am still picking up sprinkles from the living room floor, despite two vacuum runs and a sweep. When will I learn?

Hosting without fear means you are not scared to ask your guests to help out with a starter or a dessert. After dinner we enjoyed a delicious fudgey chocolate cake that my friend Jen baked and, my all-time favourite, a sticky date pudding made by my mate Linda. I could have kept eating dessert for hours and hours...

That's pretty much the extent of it at my place. Keep the wine flowing, the beer cold and token bottles of mineral water on the table so you fancy yourself just a little bit sober and you've got yourself the makings of a really easy, really fun night. The real trick is not worrying about the screech and mayhem that is 16 young children let loose while their parents kick back. I like to put the dad's to work pushing swings and kids into pools and making drinks and earthquakes on the trampoline. Despite their best efforts, however, we are still cleaning up the mess... but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Do you have a favourite entertaining meal to share?
I would love the recipe!!!

Through the Instagram: little peek at November

2011-12-12T21:00:00.003+11:00

Forgot about November!

These Instagrammy posts are all for me, so don't worry if you're not here to see them (if you know what I mean!?!). Just a snapshot, a keepsake, a little 'we were there'.

Lazy days... and (OMG!) a radical haircut!

Reading in Cappers' classroom with the Badoo.

[Image of kids in the bath removed by Maxabella 10.1.2012... do you know that there 21 perverts out there that downloaded that photo off my blog? Thanks for the 'Download' stat heads up, my anonymous friend!]

Is it wrong to put pictures of your kids in the bath on the internet? Possibly. [10.1.2012 - now I say, yes! Definitely!]

Holidays! Yay!

Oh, this was me getting my makeup done at the Revlon counter at DJs. I won a fab prize of a makeover and a 'night out' (Jersey Boys) at Fat Mum Slim. Waaaaaay too much makeup, don't you think!? Bit scary-tranny.

I went to a 'business breakfast' which started at bloody 7am, so I drove. Regretted it in the afternoon peak hour crawl home!

No doubt you can't remember by now, but did anything exciting happen in your world in November?

Christmas cards sorted

2011-12-11T16:00:00.002+11:00

My Christmas cards this year were basically created by Amy Moss at Eat. Drink. Chic.. Oh my, if you haven't discovered the amazebaubleness that is Amy, get yourself over there quick smart. She is so stylish, so talented and so creative that you just want to pack her up and hang her on your Christmas tree to admire.

Amy created a set of lovely freebie typographic gift tags and photographed them for her blog. I loved the photo of the Joyeux Noel gift tag on the yellow pattern so much that I asked her if I could use it on the front of my Chrissy cards this year. I didn't hear back from her so... don't kill me, I went ahead and did it anyway. Well, it's not like I'm Hallmark, is it? And Amy did create the actual tag as a freebie printable... she often does. In fact, she makes all kinds of things available to less-talented people like me and I love her for it.

So, I folded 60 sheets of A4 kraft card, snipped 120 corners with my little punch, cut out 120 pretty rectangles, pasted them inside and out, wrote on them and stuck them inside 60 bright yellow envelopes with matching snipped corners... and made 60 cards for friends and fam. And, theoretically, that's the end of that.

Except now that I've blogged about it... I've had second thoughts about 'imitation being the most lazy form of flattery' (or however it goes).

I just don't know if I need to lock myself away for this crime or not... It doesn't feel like I blatantly ripped off Amy's work, but you might think differently. What's the rules for using someone else's creativity and work to spark your own? The reindeer noses were an idea and then I created my own version. Amy's image, though... probably a different story. I'm not really in that space so I don't know if what I did was a heinous crime or a bit whateves... it's all a bit eggshelly, isn't it!?

Merry Blissmas, but the way. I'm all decked, reindeered and now carded out.

Does the internety-publishy world of blogging change the rules?
What are the new rules for 'personal use' of another's work?

-- ♥ --

PS - Reindeer Noses post - now with added link! If you're keen you can now download and print the label pdf for you to make your own...

[Image used on card by Amy Moss at Eat. Drink. Chic. Card design all my own (but that's hardly the point, is it?)]

This week I'm grateful for... your basic joy to the world

2011-12-09T21:00:00.004+11:00

This will be my last grateful linky thingy for 2011. I'll be back in the new year (with ample warning as to when!)... so... take the time to look for the joy this Christmas and be really, really happy when you find some, yeah? Joy is easily one of my all-time favourite words. Joy, joy, joy to you!

This week I'm grateful for...

205. Joy - It catches your breath and holds it ransom until it feels you shine like a star for just a little moment.

206. Effort - I know I could make things a lot easier for myself by not insisting on making stuff all the time. But putting in a little bit of effort is just so rewarding. Creating something just because I can is one of the most satisfying ways to spend my time (that and de-cluttering, oh how I love de-cluttering) (oh, and.. um... other stuff) (I'm fun, really I am).

207. Exhaustion - so there's way too much on at this time of year and we're all about to break. But, you know what, aren't we bloody lucky?!

So, what's making you smile today? Add your post to the list below (and please, we love you, but it really does matter that your post is a Grateful one and not just a random) and pretty-please add a link back to this linky. Then pop over to visit other bloggers who are spreading a little sunshine.

[Image by Metin Demiralay]

Marathon running plus other stuff

2011-12-08T21:00:00.004+11:00

Last weekend our friend swam, biked and ran for 13.44 hours straight.

Yes, you read that right.

He swam for 3.8 kms, then jumped on his bike and rode 180 kms and then he got off his bike and ran a full marathon.

Who does that?

Let's not discuss how superfit this guy is; or how nuts he is. Or how much time he must spend training - just running and swimming and riding and riding and riding. As LOML and I like to say when we see someone out riding their bike in the middle of nowhere, "yep, look at him... nothing better to do". Oh, and when we see people out jogging we say, "yeah, you'd better run".

But I digress.

If you ask someone like Roger why he does what he does he talks a lot about how it feels when he finishes. The actual doing of the Ironman event is gruelling, exhausting, painful - your basic fucking nightmare. Pushing through enormous physical and mental barriers again and again and again. Ignoring the aching limbs, the blistered feet, the thudding heart, the sheer loneliness. Breaking through your fear and riding the pain all the way to the finishing line is the biggest high (apparently) you could ever (supposedly) climb to (I am told). It's success and achievement and satisfaction and 27,000 'you rocks' all wrapped up in a very sweaty gift.

Life's a bit like that. Sweaty. Plus the sheer gruelling drudgery of life is enough to make you want to run the 100 metres in the opposite direction. But we're all signed up for the Ironman and we've got to just keep on plodding.

How are we going to last?

By focusing on the finish line, the whole reason why we're here doing what we're doing. Plodding along towards our notion of what success looks like; the thing or things that makes it all worthwhile. Trouble is, I'm not entirely sure I know what that end goal is. Trouble indeed. How am I going to finish this bloody marathon if I don't know what it is I'm running towards? What's going to help me push through the pain?

So, in prep for next year, I'm having one of my Big Thinks and I'm writing down those big, big goals. Why am I swimming and biking and running and running and running? What does the finish line look like to me? And how will I know when I get there? As usual, my Big Think might take me a while to think*, but I know it's one of those really important ones that I've just got to get to the bottom of. I've just got to know.

What are you running for?

And what's waiting for you at the finish line?

* Anyone still waiting hopefully for me to discover what I believe in? Me too.

[Image via weheartit]

Party on down: Tables

2011-12-07T21:00:00.003+11:00

The table decorating part of party hosting is outta sight fab if you ask me. Beautiful images created from beautiful food on beautifully set tables - what's not to love? Do bear in mind that out of all the party elements, the 'party table' is all about the parents and not really about the children. I don't honestly think they even notice that you've lined your topper-topped cupcakes up just so on their matchy tray.

That said, it's so easy to get the 'parental wow factor' with your fancy table full of your clever food... but I'm a bit forgetful. I focus mostly on the games and the theme and the general merriment and then panic right at photo time because my tables don't look good compared to all those stylist-party-blogger sites. To be honest, I'm far too slap-dash, impatient and whatevs to ever be able to do one of those tables. But a little effort is acceptable.

To give good table, you've got to have a basic concept in your mind so you can work a few accessories. It's all about trial and error. Use things you already have at your place to pull it altogether, purchasing only when strictly necessary and limiting yourself to things you will definitely use again in the future. Make sure you leave yourself lots of time to move things around and add bits here and there.

Don't be scared, my party tables don't look anything like the party table above either. Mine are generally fairly cobbled-together jobs so I've started with a couple of mine and then branched into tables created by far less lazy people. Enjoy!

Cappers' rainbow party

The Badoo's pink party

[Source]

How freaking cool is this!! [Source]

[Source]

It goes without saying that Amy Atlas is the Queen of the Party Table! [Source]

I am barely wiping the surface of the amazing tables that are out there in blogland. More on my Pinterest board.

Do you think the party table is sometimes all about the table and not enough about the party?

Next time: Decorations

[Main image sourced via pinterest]

That Every Kid In the Class thing: part 2

2011-12-06T22:53:00.002+11:00

So, last year I was stunned to discover a series of crumpled Christmas cards at the bottom of Maxi's school bag. "Oh no! They're doing a card for every kid in the class?!" I panicked. I then went a bit crazy to make up for not being the first one out with the Christmas cards. As you do.

Which of course means that my panicked reaction has set the bar and this year the little faces were saying "what are we giving to every kid in the class this year, Oh Mum Who Should Know Better?"

So I stole this idea from Zoe at A Personal Touch via Pinterest and on the weekend we took breaks from decking the halls to fill bags with reindeer noses. As you do. We were like a little conveyor belt, churning out reindeer noses. Putting the kids to work was immensely satisfying.

There is a little personal Christmas message on the back of each label for each child. I started delicately clipping love heart holes and gently tying each label on with ribbon, but I was totally over that $%#@# fiddly job by about bag 12 so out came the stapler, snap, snap, snap. Is it wrong to, um, choose the kids who would get the special-ribbon noses?

Regardless, to say these little bags of festive cheer were a hit with the kids would be an understatement.

What are you doing for every kid in the class this year?*

* Please, please say "a card" or "what are you, crazy, you stupid woman, I'm doing absolutely nothing. NOTHING."

____________________________________________________________

If you want to make your own reindeer labels, you can download the ones I made here. And I ordered my bags here. Have fun!

Documenting our lives

2011-12-05T21:00:00.013+11:00

Look at that. Are you melting? This idea is so adorable and it's on my list of 'things to do immediately'. It's such a great way to snapshot our children's year - what they looked like, what they liked, what they did. I can see a little 21 page book being presented to each of them on their 21st birthday... if books still exist then, of course.

It's got me thinking, though. Most things get me thinking one way or another, right?

Well, this is what I'm thinking now...

Too much?

This incessant need we parents have to document our child's every move? To photograph and write it down and sometimes to wrap it all up in a professionally bound book and present it to them on their 21st birthday. Is it too much?

It's not natural, that's for sure. I don't think we were born to know the exact minute that we first smiled or walked or pooed in a toilet and it's definitely not natural that someone videotaped it. I'm pretty sure that all this parental documentary making means our children won't get to have the same sense of nostalgia about their lives that we are blessed with. Those magical family talks where you're all trying to agree what really happened on the 1982 road trip. Or was it 1983?

Not our kids. We're basically recording their every move, but it's our own version of their childhood that we're producing. We style them and pose them a little bit but not too much and then we take their picture. We're not recording their thoughts or feelings or flit-in-flit-out dreams or any of the other important bits that shape a memory, a life. The thread that weaves all that reality and a sense of self together in a person's own mind.

The sense of self we are giving to our children is perhaps a little inflated, don't you think? 20,000 photographs all starring... you, you, all you! Videos, booklets, wall art, blogs, journals, coffee cups... you, you, all you!

At the park the other day I saw a mother taking photos of her daughter at play. Miss 4 paused and posed and played and paused and posed and played. My first thought was "the only time that kid smiles is when the camera is in her face"... no, actually, my first thought was "does that mum blog?", but my second thought was much more important. The only time she smiled was when the camera was in her face.

Too much?

[Image by Lisa Lucky]

A little missing-you shout out

2011-12-05T17:10:00.000+11:00

I haven't had a lot of time for visiting some of my favourite bloggers lately. Sob. I'm popping in, but popping is not the same as staying for dinner. We all know that.

Just then I felt a huge rush of Missing. I genuinely feel like I'm grounded and I'm not allowed out to see my friends as much as I want to.

So, quite apart from the 'big blogs' that I love - the design blogs, the stylists, the homewares, the philosophers, the general time-suckers - just thought I'd say that I'm missing my blogging buddies:

Kymmie at A Day In the Life Of Us
Brenda at Mira Narnie
Gil and Nic at Alice Becomes (and I haven't even dipped a proper toe into your new ventures!)
Sarah at Ah! The Possibilities
Steph at Mon Petit Poppet
Toni at Chick-Chat
Corinne at The Daze of My Life
Shelley at My Shoebox Life
Jane at Life on Planet Baby
Beth at BabyMac
Tim at Tim Coulson
Lucy at Diminishing Lucy
Flick at Gifts of Serendipity (I don't think she likes it when I call her that!)
Megan at The Byron Life
Karen at The Rhythm Method
Kate at Fox's Lane (missing bits of your trip! Eek!)
Eden at Edenland
Bianca at BigWords
Emma at Frog, Goose and Bear (but, of course, I caught the party posts!)
Em at The Beetle Shack
Cherie at A Baby Called Max
Cate at Keep Cate Busy (although I don't think you're blogging anyway!?)
Chantelle at Fat Mum Slim (did I miss the wedding????)
Woogilicious at Woogsworld (did you clock Max and Jack.. spooky!)
Bern at So Now What?
Glen at Glen's Life
Zoey at GoodGoogs
Kellie at 1000 Homes of Happiness
Jodi at Che and Fidel
Tessa at Down that Little Lane

And so many, many more... anyone in my blog roll and lots of new ones that I've noticed too... and, yuck, just realised that lists are dangeous things. Sorry if I left you out. I didn't mean to but I have to wrap this post up because it's taken longer to write this quick little shout out than a proper post.

How about we all make a pact to just blog every now and then in the new year? That might give us all a bit of time to read the blogs we love. Hmmm... didn't think that would fly.

How can we possibly ever keep up with all the blogs we really love????

[Somewhat random but cute image via weheartit]

Decking those halls

2011-12-04T16:00:00.023+11:00

My halls are decked, baby! Oh how I love this time of year.

Welcome, welcome. Yep, same front door as last year. Despite my love of festivities, I'm not one to do a whole new thing every year. I prefer to build on what I have so it just gets better and better every year. Plus, what do you do with the stuff that doesn't suit the new style? Seems wasteful.

Knock, knock. Do come in...

We've been very busy inside as well. Up went the Christmas tree.

There's a little bit of everything on that tree.... including a random frog.

It was Badoo's year to place the star. We rotate each year or there are fights. Who am I kidding, there are fights anyway so I have to produce photographic evidence of who did it the year before...

You could land a 747 by the power of our 2011 Christmas tree lights. We couldn't get the old ones to work (what is it about Christmas tree lights?) so we used our 300 light outdoor LED set. It looks ridiculous.

Because I'm slightly mad when it comes to festivities, each Tsunami decorated their own mini tree to have by their bed, complete with battery-operated lights. The Badoo's keeps falling over as she insists on hanging all of her (pink) baubles on the front.

Up went the freshly-made garlands. $4 ivy sprigs from Lincraft that I wrapped around some heavy wire and secured in about 20 places with fuse wire. They could certainly do with a bit more ivy (Lincraft ran out!), but I like. The little 'joy', 'peace', 'hope' (hope is elsewhere in the house, it seems) signs were on special at Spotlight for $1 each. I think you're supposed to use them as the basis for much creative painting, but I liked them just the way they are.

Noel joins them from the other living room. I took down all my regular photos and pictures and put up the Christmas photos from over the years.

My sisters are going to kill me... but, seriously, how cute are we? Al is left, then me, then MultipleMum. Send help if I don't blog tomorrow...

That wraps up Christmas for now - wraps up, geddit? Are you also over advertisers saying 'It's time to wrap up Christmas...' Such a booooring, overused pun... anyway.... Here's Cappers in a box.

Are you decked?

______________________________________________________

I'm featured on the Decorator's Forum this week. It's a really special honour and I am very grateful. Welcome to anyone who is visiting for the first time. x

This week I'm grateful for... conversation

2011-12-02T21:00:00.000+11:00

I've been a little social butterfly this week, flapping away until I can't flap no more. Exhausted. It's just that silly time of year, isn't it? It's also a fabulous time of year to be thankful.

So, this week I'm grateful for...

202. Conversation - preferably over a glass of wine. It's not often I take the time to really talk deeply with others and I relish it when I do.

203. Finishing - my sidekick Dolores and I finished the school magazine today and sent it off to the printers. It was a stealth-huge job. Stealth-huge is when something seems like a harmless little ice cube but is actually capable of bringing down the titanic. It's a relief to get that iceberg off my back.

204. Tweezers - the older you get, the more the darn hair grows.

So, what's making you smile today? Add your post to the list below (and please, we love you, but it really does matter that your post is a Grateful one and not just a random) and pretty-please add a link back to this linky. Then pop over to visit other bloggers who are spreading a little sunshine.

[Image via weheartit]

A very big feeling

2011-12-01T21:00:00.019+11:00

My little Maxi is an articulate soul who will do anything to get out of going to sleep. Some of our fondest moments have resulted from his nightly excuses. Sleep has made his heart soggy and on other occasions he hasn't been able to sleep in all his energy.

The other night he told me that there was a "very big feeling in my heart".

"What's it feel like?" I asked.

"It's feels big," he said. "But... it's like a gap is there."

"So it's an empty sort of feeling?"

"Yes, it's like all the feelings have been sucked away."

"So what's bothering you right at this minute?" I asked.
"Sometimes feelings just want to suck you right off the planet with them, Mum," came the reply.

My Very Big Feelings are always remorse, envy and fear.

What are your Very Big Feelings?

Party on down: Cake

2011-11-30T21:00:00.008+11:00

Cake. Caaaaake. The very word sends most children into raptures, so it's no surprise that even with all the ridiculous fussing we parents do for kids' parties these days, the caaaaake still rules the day.

If it pleases you and makes life easier, you can buy in every decoration and every single other item of food at your child's party, but you better believe that a home made cake is a necessity. It doesn't have to be a difficult cake and it absolutely doesn't have to be perfect, but you've just got to have a go. Bringing out the shining cake at the end of the party and seeing the shining faces that go along with it - that's parenting nirvana to me.

Logistics. Depending on complexity of cake, start the day before, if not even earlier. Bake the cake(s) you need, cool them and then freeze the cake. Yes, freeze it. It thaws absolutely fresh and a cool cake is a lot easier to ice than an out-of-the-oven-on-the-same-day cake. Just make sure you allow it to completely thaw before you ice it. Condensation makes icing slide right off. Not that I would know...

Aim to serve the cake a good half hour before party closing time. It takes longer than you think to light up a cake, deliver the cake to much fanfare, sing the birthday song, do the X claps for luck, blow out the candles, take out the candles, search for the knife, cut the cake, fight off the many little fists that go grabbing for the bits with the most icing and serve the cake. Yes, longer than you think.

One more thing... remember to cut more pieces than you need so you can offer them to the parents at pick up time. It's a nice gesture and a great way of moving all that excess cake!

Easy cakes

Maximum impact can be achieved with no skill whatsoever. The key is packet cakes and lots and lots of lollies.

Easiest party cake I ever made.

No, wait, this one was... see, marshmallows are the king of cakes.

[Source]

Fondant icing cakes

For Capper's mermaid party back in the day, I forgot I had no cake skills whatsoever and attempted modelling with fondant icing. Do not attempt modelling with fondant icing for the first time on the morning of a 2 o'clock party. It's sticky and it's hard to colour (I don't care what the books say) and it just doesn't act like clay at all. Don't worry, you'll get there in the end, just make sure you keep putting that icing back into the fridge whenever it goes gooey and do leave enough time to finish the fish...

The mermaid and the blobs.

Ah, that's better... Unfortunately, it had nothing to do with me... [Source]

Little cut-out shapes seem like a much more sensible approach to fondant... [Source]

[Source]

Smoke and mirrors cakes

The 'smoke and mirrors' approach to cake decorating. A pretty banner, multiple sparklers, a well-chosen candle... tah dah!

When in all else fails, stick appropriate figurines on. They almost (almost) look like you might have made them along with your melting castle. A flag or two is also very handy for diverting attention away from epic fails.

[Source]

Shut the front door cakes

Some people are just uber talented and produce the sort of cakes that no-one wants to cut. These are the kind of cakes that we bookmark on pinterest with full intentions of rolling up our sleeves and having a go. And then we look really closely at the masterpiece in the picture and then go out and buy a Pattinson's Patisserie cake instead. It's not so much inspirational as depressing, you see. Divert your eyes...

This is also a Harry Potter cake, no figurines required... it's just tear inducing, really... [Source]

Do you think they were having a 'I'll take your Everybody's Doing It Rainbow Cake and raise you a Very Complicated Matrix Cake' moment? [Source]

Yeah, yeah, but does it taste good? (How's my life: I'm heckling cakes forgodsake). [Source]

[Source]

Of course, you could just go with the smoke and mirrors approach and stick a toy Buzz and Woody on top of a Greens Vanilla... [Source]

Ah, never mind. Cake is cake, right? Caaaaake... you can't go wrong, I promise.

You'll find loads more party cake porn on my pinterest board. If you need an invite to join pinterest, just drop me a note and I'll figure out exactly how one does that...

Next time: Tables

[First image found here]

Use the force

2011-11-28T21:00:00.008+11:00

I mentioned something in the comments of my post last night that got me thinking... but before I think the think some more, a word on last night's post.

I've noticed that whenever I write a post that has any negativity in it directed at myself (either me slaying myself or me quoting someone else doing it) you all rally around me like a hen protecting her chick. It's a beautiful thing.

At the same time, it makes me wonder if when I get a bit philosophical, do I sound so particularly bereft and heartbroken that you feel the need to pump me back up to Pollyanna-land? I ask because by the time the comments roll in on my darker posts, they kind of look like Fishing Posts.* And nobody really wants to go fishing around here. As much as I love them, compliments just make me sort of tense.
But back to last night's comment. Remember when I described blogs as Tables? I liked that analogy so much that I've got a new one. Star Wars.

It just had to be.

Szroom, szroom (that's my light saber szrooming, in case you were wondering).

Okay, so this Star Wars analogy is somewhat laboured. See, in Blogging Star Wars there are no evil teams, we are all fighting on the same team. So, it's kind of not like Star Wars at all but... well, there is definitely the Dark Side of our team and... the others. What exactly are the 'other' guys in Star Wars called? The Boring Lukes?

I'm a Boring Luke blogger and I'm calling us the Lightweights. I blog about nice stuff happening in nice places and while I do like to dabble in social commentary from time to time, generally it's of the being mean to yummy mummy variety, rather than anything especially meaningful or world changing.**

The crafty blogs, the beauty blogs, the fashion blogs, those pesky award-winning motorbike blogs and many of the mummy blogs all make up the Lightweights. You better believe the 'stylists' blogs are over here.

Lightweights are definitely the kind of people who hang their smalls behind the sheets on the washing line. And, if you're anything like me, your pegs are nicely colour co-ordintated with each pair of knickers as well. Even though no-one can see them.

The Dark Siders are the gutsy bloggers who 'blog raw' and have no problem hanging their knickers anywhere they darn well please. They probably don't even wear them. The Dark Siders are compelling and their words can be life-changing. They dig deep trenches to get at the heart of life. Sometimes dark things have happened to Dark Siders and they let us in to feel their pain and anger. Sometimes not. Sometimes they just prefer to wear sunglasses.

It is no surprise to learn that I find the Dark Side utterly fascinating and I get all itchy wondering what it would be like to experience life on their level. But I'm far too much like a flappy little moth, drawn to light and annoying at BBQs, to ever really know what it's like.

Which is exactly why the blog world needs both the Dark Side and the Lightweights.Together we use the force Luke and save us all from ourselves. Access to the 'other' type of person is something that we rarely get in life. We don't tend to hang out with people who are different to ourselves and we often don't talk about the minuate of daily life and frustrations when we do. So more than anything blogging allows us to be challenged by the amazing insights of others and to share in so many lives that enhance our understanding of the world and our place in it. To somehow experience the unexperiencable. It is an opportunity like no other.

Use the force, indeed.

Are you a Dark Sider or a Lightweight? Do you dabble in the other side?

* Note to the kind people: This is not a Fishing post.
** Although one of my dear readers did happen to mention Mandela on my blog yesterday, so that's gotta count for something, right? Right?

[Image found here. There are so many cheesy but hysterical Star Wars spoofs out there, finding this image was a... blast.]

The Heavy Lightweight

2011-11-27T21:00:00.030+11:00

Some things you don't necessarily want to write about, but they kind of make you. This is one of those things.

I'll apologise in advance that this post is all over the place. I am sure that a critic of my blog would say "can't seem to stick to one topic. Crams too much in." Does anyone want to become my Editor?

A lot of the posts I write come from my cheerful, sunny-side-up, grass-is-plenty-green kind of nature. I don't dwell, I play well with others, I basically just get on with things. It goes without saying that I have had times in my life that have seen me dipping in the depths of despair and I have felt burnt to a crisp many times. Memory makes my toes curl as as I write that. But not lately. It's fair to surmise that I have lead an essentially charmed life. I've yet to establish if that's because I've actually had it really easy or if I was just born looking for easy. Perhaps I'll never know.

But tell me this. Why does being an optimistic person mean that many, many people seem to write me off as being a lightweight? That being optimistic and cheerful equates somehow with being disinterested and unavailable. As if another person's shoes won't fit me.

Worse than that, is the attitude that the only people who could possibly be happy in this world are the ones who don't 'get it' (ie, I'm too stupid to see the world for what it really is) or that my life is so much easier than a less-happy person's (ie, the 'perfect' life myth). And then there's the perception that somehow I don't count as much as people who have "truly lived".

I'd never considered this before I started a blog. It never came up. But blogging means I'm open and an email address means Come in. So, the "truly lived" above is a quote from an email I recently received. The writer said "your views on the world are not as meaningful as people who have truly lived". All the other perceived attitudes I mention above are also from emails I've received as Maxabella. Others include:

"I can't tell you about it because you won't listen because you've had a nice life."

"It's alright for you to say you don't aim for happiness when you've never experienced how tough life can be."

"Just because you're living the good life, doesn't mean you have to rub people's faces in it, intentional or not."

"People like you are sometimes the reason that people like me feel bad about myself."

Ouch.

These are emails sent by people who don't actually know me - I may have escaped relatively unscathed, but I have lived a full life, oh yes, yes I have. But ignoring that, I want to point out that the overall tone of all of these notes was not necessarily aggressive or mean. I have been lucky (there I go again!) to not have had many 'haters' visit my blog or email me. At least, I choose not to view them in that light. Again, perception or reality?

What I simply want to know is... are they right? Do you think you have to experience something to be able to empathise? Most importantly, are you able to help people who suffer from sadness, grief, anger and frustration if these are not emotions that you experience very often? Can you be there for someone with depression? I'm bewildered because all my life I really thought I could.

And do you think that bad things happening to good people makes them more 'real' somehow?

[Image found here]

This week I'm grateful for... being grateful x 200

2011-11-25T21:00:00.010+11:00

Today marks an amazing 201 things that I've been grateful for since I started this grateful thingy on my blog. I posted my first 100 things a while back, and today I'm celebrating the next 200. Next week I'll post my 101 - 200 list.

Hi you. Thank you for being a part of the grateful thingy (I think that's it's new name...). Maybe you read along each week and visit the links, maybe you're one of the grateful ones, maybe this your first time here and you're wondering WTF?... whatever you're up to, I thank you.

This week I'm grateful for...

199. Regulars - my lovely grateful regulars, you have become my friends and online community. I look forward to seeing you every week and sharing a special moment or two in your life.

200. Newcomers - I may have 200 things down on the grateful thingy list, but every week is an opportunity for someone to begin at one. Being grateful as a regular thing slows you down and makes you reflect on what's good in the past and the present, rather than always thinking about what's around the next corner. There is something in that. The past and present are full of memories and feelings, the future is full of maybes and perhaps.

201. Number celebrations - I have no idea why we are all so obsessed with celebrating groups of 10, 100, etc, but we are. And don't you think it's funny how we still celebrate our 21st when 18 has been the new 21 for over 50 years? Regardless, counting down the numbers with a celebration here and there is fine by me!

So, what's making you smile today? Add your post to the list below (and please, we love you, but it really does matter that your post is a Grateful one and not just a random) and pretty-please add a link back to this linky. Then pop over to visit other bloggers who are spreading a little sunshine.

[Image by Reny Photography]

Party on down: Food

2011-11-24T10:33:00.000+11:00

I need to get the sugar monkey off my back straight away. The ratio of sweet to savoury at a children's party is a hard one to master. I'll talk more about the timing of parties in an upcoming 'Kid Wrangling' party post, but I think if you start late afternoon you are not as obliged to do a full lunch or dinner option than if you scheduled the party earlier or later in the day. A two o'clock start is my favourite, ending at 4.30 pm. My thinking is that parents generally feed their child a nutritious lunch in advance of a 2 o'clock party and I run with that notion.

At each party I put out some kind of fruit option and some kind of healthy savoury option (home-made sausage rolls, mini-quiches and meatballs are all stand-bys) and the rest is just plain not-good-for-anyone party fun. That's how we party at this place. So, apologies, but I'm not going to be a font of healthy party food options, although I might explore this at some stage.

Party food doesn't have to be complicated, but for me it needs to tick three boxes:

1. It's fun and not 'every day'
2. It's simple to put together on the day or can be prepared in advance.
3. It ties in with the theme I'm working.

If you're not a baker, you don't have to bake. Party centres don't bake - they just throw frankfurts and chicken nuggets down into the centre of a table ladden with lollies and chips and the kids go nuts. You could do that.

I like a 'half and half' approach. One half baking: the cake, cupcakes and biscuits and, formerly, cake pops. The other half: no baking. I can't bring myself to do chips, franks and nuggets, but no-bake items with maximum impact include lollies stacked by colour in a bowl or 'fairy wand' breadsticks dipped in chocolate and rolled in sprinkles or 'things on sticks' like marshmallows or fruit. It is also a tradition of ours to have cheezels at every party, mainly because we love cheezels so much we need to ban them from the house on all other occasions.

Depending on your theme, here's a round up of some other really fun, really easy party foods that are special and delightful. Oh, and we'll talk about making food look good (aka 'tablescapes') in our 'Tables' party post.

Cakepops

I used to love them, but now I hate them with the passion of a thousand burning suns. Or something like that. Regardless, there is no denying that these little morsels should be part of your go-to foods for parties. They are fiddly, but achievable and with a few tweaks they will work with any theme. Bakerella is your goddess of foodspiration here.

[via]

Cupcakes

Nothing wrong with a cupcake. They are simple and classic and you can work them into any theme you like. Not surprisingly, Bakerella is amazing at cupcakes too, Hello Naomi isn't half bad either.

[via]

Biscuits

Biscuits can be as easy or as complicated as you like. The Decorated Cookie has lots of step-by-step tutorials for making amazing bickies, so you might surprise yourself! You can go the plain biscuit / fancy icing route or make an amazing flavour of biscuit or even a macaron. On a biscuit / cookie random note: these days I find myself calling chunky-style biscuits by the American 'cookies' and the more delicate types are still biscuits. What about you?

[via]

Stuff On Sticks

Portable, easy for little hands... Stuff On Sticks are awesome party food. Things you can put on sticks include kebabs, scrolls, marshmallows, sausages, swirls of chocolate, fruit, rice balls, meatballs, cakepops, slices, cheerios... let's face it, pretty much everything tastes better on a stick.

[via]

Jars, cups, cones

If you've got the fridge space, this is the easiest party food to serve. Make individual portions of chocolate mousse, cheesecake or jelly or fill cones and cups with servings of lollies, fruit, little biscuits... Personalising the cups and jars makes it very special.

[via]

Push Pops

Latest craze on the party scene seems to be push pops. Cake, lolly, ice cream, jelly, frozen drinks... fill them with whatever you fancy. Australians can order the cups here, you can reuse them after the party as handy carriers for snacks.

[via]

One of a kind

Whatever your theme, there is the potential to create something unique and amazing. Think outside the bread slice and come up with something perfect for your party.

[via]

Phew. I could do this for hours as there are so many ideas out there, but we'd better move on. There's more inspiration at my Party On Down: Food pinboard. I promise there are far more savoury options on there. Can you tell I have a sweet tooth?!

Next time: Party cake

[Raspberry macaron recipe and image by Tartelette]

Me and my gal

2011-11-22T21:00:00.034+11:00

On Wednesdays during school time, it's just me and the Badoo. We potter about doing reading in the classrooms, lumbering through chores and paying visits. We are very chatty.

At the moment, she won't listen, won't do as she's told and wants to rule the world. Her nickname is Badoo, but I want to change it to Badon't. She whines and she grumbles and she pushes and she shouts. She makes me yell stupid things like 'stop yelling' and 'if you don't stop pushing your brother around I'm going to... I'm going to...". What I'm going to do is the dreaded countdown. 1, 2... don't make me get to 3... I'm going to say it... I'm nearly there... yes I am... don't make me get there... you don't want me to get there... I'm almost at thr... ah, there you are. We get there... eventually. She pushes, but I hope she never really calls my bluff because I've got absolutely nothing.

A couple of weeks ago I had my annual eye test (I am so short-sighted I think I'm about -0.25 away from needing man's best friend as a constant companion). The Badoo just loves an accessory and had a complete meltdown about 5 seconds after this photo was taken because she wanted the glasses, had to have the glasses, wasn't leaving without the darn glasses.

She is so loud and so horrific in melt-down mode that she radiates a kind of nuclear heat. The optometrist was fanning herself and looking at me in sheer terror. I was sweating.

In a desperate move to appease her, I gave her my own glasses to wear and triumphantly stumbled my way out of the store with a smiling Badoo in tow. I walked into a pole and insisted she give me back my glasses. She quickly consented, mainly because she realised she couldn't see anything while wearing them. What a pair we made.

I love that little Badoo. She's full of charisma and joie de vivre. She lights up a room with her party-light smile and she dances on tables as she walks up the street. She is loved wherever she goes.

Oh, she gets under your skin that one. Just not always in a good way...

Got any management tips for threenagers?

Dear Agony Aunts: The Looming Cabinet

2011-11-21T14:06:00.001+11:00

I have an ethical dilemma that I am struggling to work through.

Every now and then you find yourself in a situation that's just a doozy with too much to work through on your own. This morning I thought 'I should write into one of those agony aunt columns for assistance' and then I realised that I had something much better on my side... the great blog community!

So, if you don't mind...

Here's the thing.

Months ago my boy was at a play date at a certain parent's house. About two days later I had the following conversation (shortened, so you don't fall asleep):

Me: Hello?

She: Oh, hi there Bron. I just thought you'd want to know that when Maxi was here on Tuesday, he broke the cupboard door of our games cupboard. I thought you'd want to know.

Me: Oh? He broke a door?! He didn't say anything. How did it happen?

She: He was leaning on it when they had the door open to get the games out.

Me: So it was an accident?

She: No, not really. He was leaning on it. I'd consider him to be at fault.

Me: Well, he's six and to be honest, the 'leaning on cupboard doors' conversation hasn't really come up at our place before, so he wasn't to know that the door might break. What are you asking of me here? Do you want us to replace the hinges?

She: The thing is, it's an antique cabinet that was a wedding present. It's worth thousands of dollars.

{Pause while I quietly gag}

Me: Really? Oh my! {Pause} And you were storing kids' games in there?

She: Yes. It's in the living room... {Pause} I think we need to source the hinges from a specialist and then get a craftsman carpenter to fit them... if we can't find the hinges, I think we'll need to replace the cabinet. {Pause} Do you know of any hinge specialists?

Me: What? Oh, um... no... can't say I do. You know, it really does strike me as an accident waiting to happen storing kids' toys in a precious cabinet like that... But, um, gee, anyway you can see why I'm a bit taken aback by this phone call. Are you really just ringing to 'let me know'? What are you asking of us?

She: I don't know what I'm asking. I will need to think about it.

Me: Okay, well, have a think about it and let me know when you're ready. We can talk about it then.

It's been months and she hasn't mentioned it since, but whenever I see her around the place, the Expensive Cabinet Incident lurks in the background, waiting to pounce.

On Sunday Maxi went to a birthday party at her place and when I dropped him off, there stood the Expensive Cabinet, still full of games, minus doors. It was looming right in front of me, its presence so dominating I could hardly breathe.

Nothing was said. I felt incredibly guilty even though I don't really think I should have felt that way.

Help!
Was it an accident?

Should we have to pay to replace the cabinet when she was clearly negilent stocking it with kids' toys?

Who pays for accidents anyway?

Should I say something to her or wait for her?

[Image from here]

Sulking over servitude

2011-11-20T16:00:00.002+11:00

I want to be the kind of mother who finds sweetness in servitude... but, alas, I am not. No matter how much I try to sweeten it up, the drudgery of housework, chores and routine just gets to me every single time.

Recently I've realised that this might actually be more of a problem than I think it is.

I've always known that an easygoing friendship with mess is critical when you're a mum of three. I'm an organised, mostly tidy sort of person but I've always had a reasonably high tolerance for disarray (you should see my car!) because I really don't like cleaning up very much.

All fine, you say. We're all a bit like that.

Well, lately I've found myself aborting family moments because I am already loathing the thought of cleaning up afterwards before life even happens.

No, you can't get the paints out.

No, I'm not getting you a kit with 1000 beads for your birthday.

No, you can't add water to the dirt.

No, you're not getting rice for dinner.

It's terrible! Where is my sweetness in servitude when I need it? Why can't I relish the paints and the beads and the mud and the rice and then feel great about cleaning up afterwards because I allowed my family good times and good meals? Can't I put their needs first and worry about my own, er, cleaning issues later? Do I need to just grow up or something?

Why aren't I feeling joy in serving my beloved family?

What the hell is wrong with me?

Questions!

[Image via weheartit]

This week I'm grateful for... details

2011-11-18T21:00:00.018+11:00

Often in this life that old adage 'you can't see the forest for the trees' springs to mind. But, it's not only seeing the big picture that I sometimes struggle with. Just as often, it's really the trees I can't see because there is too much forest in the way. The details of life are so important.

So, this week I'm grateful for...

196. Details - the little things. A colour. A scent. The whisper of a breeze on my cheek. A note folded like a crane. Ah details, the cherry on the top of life.

197. Moments - details make moments. Barely-there, sparkly moments.

198. Pause - how often we forget the importance of a pause. The space between. A pause lets life rush in.

So, what's making you smile today? Add your post to the list below (and please, we love you, but it really does matter that your post is a Grateful one and not just a random) and pretty-please add a link back to this linky. Then pop over to visit other bloggers who are spreading a little sunshine.

[Image found here]

Timed out

2011-11-13T16:00:00.012+11:00

Yay for me, we're on hols for a week. We're off for a bit of family fun and sunshine (please!). Bit random, but there you go.

I've got a guest postie delivery scheduled over at Diminishing Lucy's on Tuesday, so be sure to visit us there. Lucy's blog was the third blog I ever read (my sisters' blogs were first and second, natch) and she is like my third blogging sister, I love her so.

Enjoy the post and see you on Friday night for much gratefulness.

[Image found here]

This week I'm grateful for... surprises

2011-11-11T21:00:00.011+11:00

Do you remember me telling you about the amazing party I was going to belatedly have (my birthday was back in August!) for my 40th and then the fact that I cancelled it because life just got in the way?

Well, this week I'm grateful for...

193. Surprises - A dear (new) friend insisted that we come over for dinner on the night the party was scheduled for. 'You don't want to be sitting at home wondering whether you would have been having a great time,' she said. We popped over, we had dinner together and just as we were finishing up... lots and lots of friends started coming in. Surprise!

194. Kindness - have I been grateful for this before? Probably. Kindness can never be over-rated. What a kind, generous, lovely thing for my friend to do for me. She is wonderful and I am so very lucky to have her in my life.

195. Entertainers - Linda is an 'entertainer'. She loves having people for dinner, BBQs, swim parties... just getting people together is what she loves best. Every group of friends needs a Linda. More than 40 people over to her house for a surprise party for me? No problem!

So, what's making you smile today? Add your post to the list below (and please, we love you, but it really does matter that your post is a Grateful one and not just a random) and pretty-please add a link back to this linky. Then pop over to visit other bloggers who are spreading a little sunshine.

[Image via Marlein Overakker]

Quietly

2011-11-10T21:00:00.000+11:00

Go down today, sun. Oh, please go gently. Leave this noise alone and start softly again tomorrow.

[Image by Melanie Gwendolyn Ocean]

Party on down: Invitations

2011-11-09T21:00:00.007+11:00

There is no question that a standard invite can look snazzy and will do the job of getting the party goers to the venue on time. A simple card can tie in with the party theme and is quick and simple to produce. I like designing and creating my own, but if you're a bit computer or crafty challenged, there are many Etsy stores that will do a fine job for you. Three favourites are:

Pink Creative Invites
Peppertowne
Little Bulldog Design

Plus there are loads of free invite printables about the place. Google 'free party invitation printables' and for other ideas and inspiration do check out :

Our blogging mate Simoney has Kids Party Invites
Browse through the printables round up at the fabulous How About Orange
Kellie often includes party invites in her Friday Freebies at 74 Lime Lane
Kate at picklebums also does some lovely free printables that include some invites.

However.

HOWEVER.

A standard card is one thing. An imaginative, amazing party invitation is quite another. It will set the scene and turn the sleep-countdown on weeks before the party. More than that, it shows that your children's party is all about the actual children and I'm all about that. Peeking at some (very beautiful) party scenes here and there, I've noticed that there can be a tendency for 'stylishness' to overtake the childish fun... and we can't have that!

If you're going to come up with something original that will stand out in the crowd, you've got to let your imagination go a bit wild and grow leg hair. Settle on your theme and then grab ideas from as many places as you can (Pinterest again comes up trumps for collecting all those grabs in one place and wedding sites are the absolute biz for clever ideas!). It goes without saying that you should be thinking about the party and the invitations at least three months out from the party. That gives you lots of time to settle on an idea and then let your imagination fly!

Here are some great leaping off points...

Packaging

You can package a standard invitation or add a little something in such a way that it takes it to another level.

[via]

Tickets

Using a ticket style for the invite suggests a marvellous journey is in store and the party goer can bring it along on the day to gain 'admittance', making them feel extra special.

[via]

Journals

A ticket can become something even more - a keepsake of a party journey. Passports, mission logs, maps and diaries work for all sorts of parties - travel, under the sea, superhero, spy, fairy...

[via]

Cut-outs

Cut-outs can take an invitation to the next level and are really easy to do. You start with a good idea...

[via]

Wow Factor

All you really need is a fun concept and you can work it in so many ways. We are only limited by our imaginations... and time, yes, time. And sometimes money... and time.

[via]

I gotta wrap this up, I could be here all day.

If you can handle it, there is even more party invite inspiration on my Party On Down: Invite pinboard (yes, I have a pinboard devoted exclusively to party invitations... we all have our, ahem, things). And don't forget to let me know if there is a particular theme you want to explore as we move along in our party posts.

Next time: Food

[Main pic is courtesy of Oh Happy Day where there is a printable and tutorial on how to create these fabulous Pop! invites. Oh happy day, indeed.]

The bones of volunteering

2011-11-08T21:00:00.002+11:00

Last Saturday I found myself roped in as the official photographer at the School Gala Dinner. I'm not joking. Now, you know how shite I think my photographic capabilities are, so I think we can officially surmise that I've never met a volunteering job I could say no to. I'm a Helper, aka a Sucker.

In a couple of weeks the school's P&C is having their AGM where the entire executive - President, Vice-President, Treasurer and Random Official Office Bearer Number Four (I don't exactly know what she does) - all need to stand down having served their allocated three year term. The campaign to rope us Suckers into the top jobs has already begun. In fact, I could barely perform my official photographic duties on Saturday such were the vultures gathering to pick over my volunteering vulnerabilites.

I want to be on the executive for the P&C next year about as much as I wanted to be the P&C's Website Co-ordinator, PR and Marketing Co-ordinator and Official Photographer this year. That is to say, about as much as I want a leech to suck my blood at 120 km/hour, but...

... they're circling. They're coming. They make me feel guilty because "the school needs inspirational people like you" (see, they've got some serious moves!) and (less compelling) "if you don't do it, who else will?" Soon I'll be nothing but raw, bleached bone abandoned in a desert and even then how will I say no?

Are you good at saying no?

What do you tell yourself that I need to start telling myself?

[Image via weheartit]

The blogging cycle

2011-11-06T16:00:00.005+11:00

You head on out, leisurely. It's all downhill and easy and the sight-seeing is ah-maaaaaazing.

You pick up pace, you're all over the road because you can't stop looking at the scenery. On and on and on you ride, sight after sight, you are mesmerised and you don't notice the bike starting to wobble.

The road gains momentum, the bike flips and veers, you're in danger of falling off. The street lights have been on for an eon, you were due home ages ago, yet still you ride on, faster and faster. Zipping along the road like a missile on a mission, you're a blur of wheels and colour and thoughts and...

You crash, of course you do. The wheels fall off. The bike is in pieces, you've hurt your head and you're kicking yourself that you didn't see it coming. No one can ride forever and now your family is surely furious because you didn't leave a note, didn't call, just didn't show up when you said you would.

You limp back home, the bike squealing in protest, head down, bottom lip quivering. Your family melts at the abandoned sight of you.

You take a break. Slowly the bike gets put back together, wounds heal, you start to miss riding, but you've learned from your mistakes. You set yourself a riding schedule. You can go out on these days, but not these. You can go for this long, but you have to take the kids with you; you're not allowed to leave them behind.

You all ride out for a little test outing. The path is still blissfully easy, the road no less beautiful; but you're more careful about what you look at and you've got the kids to consider so you don't ride as far. You manage to get home before the street lights are on.

You congratulate yourself. Maybe you can do this. Just ride and enjoy and not crash. You miss seeing lot s of those wonderful sights you used to get to see, but you know you'll ride on by and visit them whenever you can. Ride right on over: carefully, gently, just marvelling at the wonder of it all.

Happy biking, everyone!

[Image found here]

This week I'm grateful for... happiness (it just had to be!)

2011-11-04T21:00:00.007+11:00

I talked a lot (a lot) about happiness this week. Does it exist? Is it important? What does it mean?

I said I'm not going for happiness, that it isn't on my list. It's true that it has never seemed important as a 'goal' or a state of being to me. There are so many other things that need taking care of before I start to wonder whether I'm happy or not. But in truth, the taking care of the 'other things' seems to be enough to always get me there.

I cannot lie, I'm a happy sort of person and always have been. But to me it's not a state of mind, it's a state of 'is'. For me happiness seems to be what's left when the things that need taking care of are cared for.

Was I born this way? Did I learn it through my parent's wise words as a child? Did I just choose? I may never know. But what I do know is that for many, it's just the opposite. No matter how many boxes they tick or pursuits they complete or times they ponder, happiness lurks under shadow and won't be found. Knowing this pulls me up and reminds me that I can't be trite about happiness and I mustn't take it for granted.

So, this week I'm grateful for...

190. Happiness - it shines within me. It is never far.

191. Searching - on days and weeks when happiness decides to play hide and go seek and makes me count to 1,000,000 before I can even look for it, I will search and search and I won't give up.

192. Certainty - because no matter what, I know that I will eventually find it and is this certainity that we know as optimism that keeps a person truly happy.

So, what's making you smile today? Add your post to the list below (and please, we love you, but it really does matter that your post is a Grateful one and not just a random) and pretty-please add a link back to this linky. Then pop over to visit other bloggers who are spreading a little sunshine.

[Image kkathrynanna]

Happiness looks like this

2011-11-03T21:00:00.003+11:00

I'm tempted to have my headline and put a picture of my family in this post and leave it at that. My family makes me ooze with happiness most of the time. Of course, sometimes they're just a massive, weighty boulder that I have to lug and push and shove everywhere I go. Literally, in the case of the Badoo.

I dabbled with purpose in my last post, but of course I've always known it's really grateful. That regardless of how big that boulder sometimes seems, my family opens the door to happiness for me and being grateful for them is the key.

They give my life meaning.

They give my life colour.

They give my life joy.

They give my life a reason.

They fill my life with love until it overflows and I have to clean it up because no one else around here is going to do it.

So, happiness to me is encapsulated in being grateful that they are here. That I get to hang out with them. That they love me, regardless. That they exist around me and because of me and in me and through me and sometimes despite me and to spite me.

That they drive me to the brink of crazy and then they drive me home again. Always home.

That's what happiness looks like for me. I'm (as ever) just so bloody, endlessly grateful.

Can you think of a word that above all else sums up how you feel about your family?

[Image found here]

Party on down: Theme

2011-11-02T21:00:00.002+11:00

The theme is my favourite bit! The key to working a good theme is attention to detail. The little-bitty-bits make the whole thing come together and add the wow factor. Unfortunately, little-bitty-bits are the things that catch on and become the latest fad - stripey straws / moustaches-on-sticks, anyone? So you need to think outside the square a little bit and make your party your very own.

Choosing a theme has always been left to my children. Hence, the recent random Harry party when Maxi was into Harry Potter for two seconds exactly around invitation sending time. To this day I am quite certain that the only thing he knows about Harry Potter is what he learnt at that party, but I digress. The point is, the theme was his choice and I do not judge.

Themes can be tricky to pin down at the best of times. Prior to deciding on Harry we were working a Space theme and before that it was an Animal theme and before that he wanted everyone to come in black and bring a monkey soft toy. He's also had an Insect, Dinosaur and a Monster party in his time and instead of a baby shower we had a Jungle theme party that totally rocked.

See, if they're little or not born yet, you get free choice! Beware, though, one-ers and two-ers really just need a cake and not too much fuss - parties are overwhelming at the best of times and the poor bubba tends to spend the entire party in horrified tears being bounced from one person to another. But you can still create a memory moment without sacrificing their sanity: choose their favourite thing to stage the party around (a colour, a tv show, things in the sky, Beatrix Potter, whatever your little one seems to like), have the celebration in the early evening, do the cake straight after dinner, put the birthday baby to bed and let your hair down with your friends and family.

Okay, back to the theme... click through to see some of my favourite examples of themed parties. We'll be exploring ideas for some of these party themes in more detail in upcoming posts. Let me know if you're working a particular theme you want me to catch on with as we continue...

Classic faves

Superhero (and Supergirl)
Afternoon Tea
Under the Sea / Nautical / Pirates
Farm (and this one and Emma's too)
Dinosaur, not to mention Dinosaur with erupting volcano cake (Go Simoney!)
Pink
Critters
Monster
Harry Potter
Fairy, Fairy, Fairy and more Fairy!
Mermaid or here
Space
Jungle
Rainbow
Construction
Cowgirl (and Cowboy and again!)
Princess
Toy Story
Transformers

Something a little different

Breakfast
Camping
Mexican Fiesta
Secret Agents
Unbirthday
Mad Science
Vintage
Secret Garden
Spa Day
Royal Ball
Wizard of Oz
Zoo

Inspiration galore

Sweet Designs by Amy Atlas
Cake Events
Whimsy and Wise
P is for Party
The Tomkat Studio
Aesthetic Nest
Martha Stewart
Celebrations at Home
Hip Hip Hooray
One Charming Party

Next time: Invitations

Do you have a theme you want me to explore in depth? Please let me know!

[Image from Aesthetic Nest's marvellous vintage zoo party]

What does happiness look like?

2011-11-01T21:00:00.000+11:00

Bet you're striving to be happy. Bet it's on your list for things you wish for your children too.

Are you happy? Am I? Does happiness even exist?

I think it's just an adjective used to describe a simplistic state of being. Life is much too complicated to allow us to be happy. I mean, are you happy if you have a wonderful family life but at the expense of your career? Are you happy if you've got a great career but can't seem to find the right man? Are you happy if you've had a rough childhood that you can't let go of? If you're poor? If you're fat? If you're overlooked? Are you happy if your child isn't happy?

Worse than that, happiness is a whole industry these days. Take The Happiness Institute, whose catchphrase is 'life is too short not to be happy' (you can open your own franchise, if you're interested). And just take a look at all the books available to help you get happy - titles include Being Happy; Happier, Stumbling upon Happiness; Happy for no Reason; What Happy Women Know; and, of course, 100 Simple Secrets of Happy People.

Happiness is kinda sad when you think about it.

That's why I'm not going for it. It's not on my list. I don't think happiness is the be all and end all and I actually think that thinking we should be happy is making us all very, very sad.

It seems to me that if we're preoccupied with our own state of happiness, we need to get preoccupied with doing something else altogether. What other generation every thought about this 'am I happy?' bollocks? Getting on with the difficult business of living - with joy, with emptiness, with kindness, with contentment, with fear, with loneliness, with stoicism, with ecstacy - probably kept them far too busy to give their happiness or lack thereof a second thought. A life was filled with purpose and the rest just took care of itself.

Happiness is like the old man told me

Look for it, but you'll never find it all

Let it go, live your life and leave it

Then one day, wake up and she'll be home

Home, home, home

- The Fray, Happiness

Purpose. Yep, boring old purpose. That's the dream. That's what 'happiness' looks like to me.

Do you believe in happiness?

What does it look like to you?

[Image via weheartit]