I burnt my porridge this morning. In any given week I burn my porridge at least two times, sometimes three. Funny, because I only have porridge for breakfast three times a week.
I put the porridge on the stove, I stir it, I pop the lid on to bring it to the boil, I walk away, I get distracted, the porridge boils all over the stove top and forms a strong and lasting bond with the hot plate which then makes a sort of squealing noise that very clearly screams, "for the love of god you moronic woman, you've wrecked breakfast again, who the hell does that, only a crazy person, that's who", I rush madly to the stove, I hurl the burning porridge into the sink, I start cleaning the stove.
I actually have porridge for breakfast one or none times a week.
It got me thinking about the fact that I am not a natural winner. In fact, I may well be the person that Einstein had in mind when he formulated his definition of insanity. I fail, I change nothing, I fail, I change nothing, I fail.
Some of us just seem to have ridiculous thought patterns wired into our brain in such a way that all of life needs to pass through them in order to continue. This makes achieving anything noteworthy very difficult.
Eat the chocolate, get fat, wish I was thinner, eat the chocolate.
Groan that my kids won't sleep, let the child into the bed at night, groan that my kids don't sleep.
Wish the house was painted, don't paint the house, wish the house was painted.
Drink wine and say too much, drink wine, say too much.
It's very, very tough being this way. Either nothing gets done or it gets burnt. There is no middle ground with me.
I suppose if I had my Pollyanna hat on, I could find many positive thought patterns in my head that end in a good way for everyone concerned. I could do that. But for the third morning in a row I am not having any breakfast, so you'll have to forgive me if I'm feeling too cranky with myself to let Pollyanna out to play.
What thought patterns are wrecking your good life?