The other morning before school, Maxi was on the computer playing Moshi Monsters, Cappers was drawing on the iPad and The Badoo was having Cinderella read to her by an English gentleman who says 'dunce' rather than 'dance'. I turned to my husband and said, "yep, we're living the 'i' life".
We have strict 'screen' times during the week (I posted about how we work that over at Live4 this week) mostly needed for Maxi who is sadly addicted to the internet at the ripe old age of eight. Even though the Tsunamis are well aware that there are only certain times set aside to watch tv, go on the computer, play on the Wii or PSP, go on the iPod, iPhone or iPad... well, now that I write that down, no wonder they constantly try to push the boundaries. Who the hell can fit that lot into 6 slots a week?!
So, I'm changing this post from one about allocated screen times to a discussion on setting ourselves up to fail. Are you with me?
Here I am whinging about my kids whinging about screens and I'm the one that has managed to load them up with eight different screens to choose from. If I don't like them spending too much time electronically, why oh why are we that darn connected?
Part of me thinks it's a 'sign of the times'. Every generation has a sign and ours just happens to say, "kids need to be outside, get them off the screens". I totally agree with that statement, but even I am at a loss to explain why after they've had a good run around outside, playing on a computer game is any worse for them than reading a book. It's not like the book reader is getting all kinds of exercise.
Don't get me wrong, my kids are all big readers (even The Badoo who 'reads' books to you that have amazing plots not even contemplated by the book's actual author). But when it's wet outside and we've exhausted our tolerance for board games and gentle chit chat around the piano, isn't a little go on the iSomething okay? Think of all those computer-type skills they're learning... not to mention the fact that Maxi and Cappers break out in a good healthy sweat playing each other in tennis on the Wii.
So, I'm not entirely sure what this post is about and I'm hoping you can help me with that, but I reckon our generation is at a crossroads between the nostalgia for the childhoods we all had and this new childhood dreamed up by computer geeks. Personally I think a balance is okay, which is why I won't be throwing the lot into the bin, but I will also be maintaining our 'screen time' rules for now. But maybe an extra half an hour a week won't be such a bad thing...
Are you living the iLife too?
What rules are in place at your place?
And what was this post about anyway?
20 comments:
No screens until after your homework is done! and no computers (aka Minecraft) after dinner!
Weekends are a free for all.. but we get out for an explore every day...
We also don't have a T.V. only movies so the screen time there is minimal.. usually just a family film after dinner.
And there the "screen time" rules at our house. Screens = good, anything that monopolises thinking to the detriment of other habits = bad.. that's how we play it anyways. ox
My Miss G (almost 13) will check her emails and now loves Pinterest. She is amazing at monitoring her time. We have no screens in bedrooms, all internet access is in the living rooms. The boys are bribed to get ready for school in the morning and then they can have 10 minutes on Minecraft. After school there is little time for any screens. We too don't have 'tv' (no aerial, so they just watch a movie or two on the weekend). On the weekends or school holidays I try to limit the wii or ipad or pc game playing to no more than an hour a day. On a rainy day, we usually have an hour or two shared time in the morning and then again in the afternoon..... I think we like to get a feel from other parents and see what they are up to, and kind of release ourselves from guild. I know I do sometimes! I find if I let my boys have free range to screens, they don't eat or drink and get dehydrated and cranky... Master S's blood sugars would get too low aswell.
I agree screen time isn't that bad, and we are probably just the most recent generation of parents to compare their children's childhoods to their own. However, I think the biggest problem we face is teaching our kids how lucky they are when they know no different. They have everything, they are the centre of their iWorlds and I often wonder what kind of people this will create. The second biggest problem is teaching them how to focus when there is so much world in front of them. I don't know any of the answers, but it's good to think about these things and not just take them as is.
Thank you. Your post perfectly captured the conflicted chaos circling inside my head. My kids don't watch TV but they do hang out for their 'screen time' each day. Usually it's half an hour Mon - Thurs, 1 hour on Friday and 2 on Sat - Sun. We have iPod, iPad, appleTV, touchscreen PC, laptop and every gaming platform you can buy (blame the hubby there, he's in IT and all of it is apparently 'research'). I can't seem to spend a single day 'unplugged', so I guess I share their addiction. We do make sure we spend time outdoors each day, have a family meal (or three) around a table and read each day. I'm so happy to hear there are other mothers fighting this (losing) battle... and I'll be interested to see what researchers think of all this technology our kids are consuming - when they make up their minds in twenty years or so!!!
Interesting post Bron. When my kids were small they watched TV, or videos, when they weren't out playing sport or running amuck. As teens they had a playstation, but their sedentary activities were just that. Watch, with little interaction or thought required.
Today's kids (like yours) might be participating in 'screen time' a whole lot more than mine did, simply because there are so many more options, but it is much more interactive and educational, requiring far more participation that just observation. At least I think so.
As I write this my 21 year old has been playing xbox, watching internet TV and social networking via his macbook for at least the last 5 hours! :-) He's catching up.
it's got to be about the balance right? At this point o'm contemplating a ipad just so I can get my 3 year old to shut up for 20mins in the middle of the day while his sister sleeps.
adequate parenting, my motto
xo em
So many gadgets and entertainment to choose from..I'm glad in a way that computers and tv were the only things I had to worry about with my kids..and that was bad enough! I think you've got it pretty much figured out.
We have 2 laptops, and 1 old tv (with dvd player and ps2). My kids aren't really into screens that much. They wouldn't even spend half an hour a week on the internet, and the tv is not a daily thing either. I encourage them to do other things. I don't think screen time is a bad thing, providing it is part of a balanced life. My daughter's school has 22 ipads for 27 kids, so she gets plenty of opportunities to use them at school!
I think the iPad is an amazing educational tool, and there is something enormously fun about that touch screen, but we have to monitor the time spent on it or my kids would go berserk. Mostly they get screen time as a reward for extra good behaviour, plus one hour of freetime each week. having said that when I came downstairs after a sleep in this morning the middle child was still in his pyjamas and had watched about three hours of morning cartoons - sometimes the balance is way out.
I'm cultivating an iLife too, I'm afraid.
Night shifts make me tired, & the iPad (educational apps only, like that's better or something, right?) entertains Max for a good 20 minutes or so.
That's just enough time for me to flop on the couch, & just kinda ... rest. And not ... entertain, which by the way, my son is convinced that is what I do, 24/flipping/7 ;)
I'm with Em, adequate parenting is becoming my new motto.
x
I hear you! 'Setting yourself up to fail' is a habit of mine. I can't think why because it's really not enjoyable ;)
I too believe we are at a crossroads and it's a very exciting but sometimes confusing and overstimulating world that we are in and out tiny ones are growing up in.
I am trying to just make our lives happy. I often find Jude will watch more movies/ABC2 when I am busy. So as long as everyone is happy, I think that's the main thing. If I'm more stressed trying to think up activities on a particularly tough week then I just let go of my standards a bit and let play school do some of the entertaining.
I'm going to hold out on getting an ipad for as long as possible, i can imagine it'd be so addictive for all of us!
x
I'm with you. My mind tos and fros all of the time about the issue of screen time. My Mum was super strict about it and my husbands were very lax. Now I hate it. He loves it. I really think that the conclusion is in moderation. Choose the times. Be wise about it. The thing I am trying to work on at the moment is the amount of time they see us having 'screen time'. Difficult! Trying to show by example that it is not the most important thing in life. Tricky for my husband who is currently doing a PhD and has no office space of his own at home and a lot of what they see of him is sitting in his arm chair on his laptop. A bookmark coming home from kinder today for fathers day. The kids were asked questions about their Dad and when asked 'what does your Dad like to do' - 'play on the computer' was the answer.....! It's a work in progress!
This is such a tricky one. I agree with you when you make the point that you're the one who bought these gizmos, so it's up to you to set boundaries. And from what you've written it sounds like your kids have a very good balance between when they can use the 'i' stuff and when they can't. I reckon you're winning!
We have a policy in our house, but I don't know what it is. It sort of depends on Mum's mood. Bad I know. But I figure that if it is all balanced there isn't a problem, and if Mum needs a break and the only way she'll get it is the TV or computer for 10 minutes. Why the hell not?
it is an ilife for our kids generation indeed. We give our kids 1/2 hr internet time every week, they can play their DS for 20 mins/week and they watch a dvd on Saturday nights and Sunday nights... we are seen as mean mothers and fathers but they deal with it. Our kids are strong, creative, enetertain themselves and they actually play together even at 11, 13 and 15... pricless.
It's all about balance isn't it. If we don't let them use this type of technology they will end up falling behind but it is important to have those times when they can be entertained by simple things too, sounds like you've found a good balance with your kiddos. We have screen time rules here too, I'm sure if we didn't they would be glued to it;) x
well considering we don't do TV in this house, our kids do get some iTime! They love a few games on the iPad and iPhone but it's limited and supervised. I have boundaries as to when it's appropriate (ie, not when we go out, as that's for socialising) and well, to be honest, there are just good fun and educational apps out there, that even I'm learning new stuff!
I dont worry about the small people in this house.... I worry about myself! I spend far too much time on ipods, ipads, iphones and laptops I often wonder what the hell I am doing! I often have to make a conscious effort to walk away from them all!!! I'm a meanie when it comes to the kids screen time now - all schoolwork stuff has to be done, clean bedrooms/toys etc before they are allowed to sit in front of the tv/ipods etc.
It is really hard for our kids, these ithingys are so much fun! We try to limit the damage (itime) as I personally believe they are too young to have too much itime (at almost 3 and 6yo)
We still don't have a TV, since moving to HK 13 months ago. As more months pass, it is getting less likely we will get one here. On the plus side to this, the kids are great on long haul flights now, as it is the only time they can watch 9 hours of TV in a row! haha
I call them TV junkies now - if they see a TV on now, you cant get them away from it, they are mesmerised.
Good luck finding your balance.
I know the Munchkin (6yo) has his own screen limits before he does a complete Dr Jekell/Mr Hyde flipout... but sometimes it's easy to forget, caught in the moment of finishing off work, making dinner etc etc - especially when the weather's been cold and miserable. It's even harder when I don't know how much iTime he's had at school that day. I'm thinking of implementing the system where he gets to choose how he spends his digital time each day (hoping that there'll be days he won't even think about it). And wondering whether he's old enough to choose wisely and turn off when asked without nastiness. A dilemma for all it seems.
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