You know how people receive those Anonymous comments from really sad people with nothing better to do but type vitriol into a comment box? I'm lucky enough to have avoided trollish commenters (saying that is surely asking for it?), but I see their demon droppings all over the blogiverse. Favourites that I have lately collected from random blogs include:
The Boring Standard: "What kind of a person writes this shit. Go out and get a real job."
The Rather Obscure: "You wouldn't know what suffering is even if it came down on a cloud and told you to go back to bed."
The Unhelpful Comparison: "Stay at home mums are all lazy you know whats. You think you're better than mums who work. Mums who work are the super mums, not you. We do it all and we never get a break and we have to be responsible to our work and our kids so it never ends for us. You should have another job too." (Presumably to feel as crappy about your life as this person does.)
and, my personal favourite, the Spraying Obscene: "Working mothers are selfish c#$ts. Go home and raise your kids."
Anyway, trolls are a special breed unto themselves and curiously I have a special spot in my bloggy heart for them. Of course, I cannot condone the obscene name-calling, I don't understand the need to anonymously hurt someone and I certainly can't stand the cowardly behaviour, but I confess that so often I want to troll my own posts that I get where they are coming from.
I find blogging a rather self-indulgent thing to do. Writing endlessly about oneself and one's views of the world and using expressions like 'oneself'. Sitting at my desk chair, musing and pondering about my little world and my little issues and using expressions like 'musing and pondering'. Is it any wonder that many times I've wanted to drop an Anonymous comment on my own posts?
Stuff like "first world problem, lady, build a bridge and get over yourself." (Which I think is a rather apt thing for a troll to write. The world needs more bridges when you're a troll.) And, "Who is actually looking after your children while you're busy posting their mugs on Facebook?" And, "You are so up-yourself*, please stop bragging about your kids. (I totally understand why you need to write about them because they are just magnificent and, honestly, who could help themselves) but fuck lady, they are your kids, not you. It's not like you're doing anything!"
I also confess that once, maybe twice, I've come very close to dropping an Anonymous (it would have to be Anonymous because god knows I'm not brave enough to use my actual pseudonym) comment on someone else's post. Never would, of course (you gotta believe me!) but still... don't you sometimes read a self-indulgent, crazy-deluded post and think 'WTF?' so strongly that it takes everything you've got not to whizz off a sharp rebuttal. To edge your fingers away from the keyboard and sink back into 'don't judge, whatever works for her, we're all just doing the best we can' mode?
Um... don't you?
* My inner-troll is obviously me at fifteen... haven't heard this expression since the eighties!
[Image by Laura Zalenga]