There is something that I have to get off my chest.
It's not the kind of thing I usually write about, but some things just need to be said. Look away right now if you are a bit embarrassed about talking about 'down there'. Yep, I'm going there.
At the shops the other day a group of teenage boys were hassling a group of teenage girls. A timeless, even necessary way to spend your days when you're fifteen. Nothing wrong with that.
Except, there is something that bothered me when I was fifteen and it sure as hell is bothering me now.
The 'fish' thing.
The implication that a vagina smells like fish and all the revolting metaphors that go along with it has always riled me like you wouldn't believe. The way boys talk about vaginas is the first time in a girl's life where she is suddenly made to feel self-conscious about something that is perfectly natural and healthy. Suddenly your 'girl bits' aren't attractive, aren't nice and are something to feel ashamed of.
It's not okay. Especially when we all know that the only thing that makes a woman's vagina smell fishy is having sex with men. Did you hear that, Teenage Boys at the Shops?
I don't know how you change teenage boys insistence on making a girl feel bad about her own vagina. I don't know how you change teenage girls so they treat teenage boys with the utter disdain that they so completely deserve. All the time. Until they're at least 24.
We women put up a lot in order to keep the boys happy, but surely not this. Having a vagina likened to a fishing wharf on a sweltering summer day is not one of the things I'm prepared to listen to ever again without saying something.
So you Teenage Boys at the Shops, listen here. Next time I hear you saying such filthy, inappropriate things about girls' vaginas, I'm coming for you. I'm coming for you and I'm bringing 25 years of pent up rage with me. You've got no business whatsoever talking loudly about a girl's vagina, let alone the things you think it's okay to say. You should be absolutely ashamed of yourselves. A girl's vagina is hers alone to get to know and talk about, you don't get to have a say. Ever.
And if you keep going, I can think of another really good use for a wharf on a hot day.
Ever had something you need to get off your chest?
Ever had a particularly nasty 'fish' metaphor thrown your way?
[Image via Letters from a Fishbowl, source unknown. Please let me know if it's yours!]
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30 comments:
HA!
Ever had a boy make your vagina smell like a fish?
Now there's something to rage about!
Sing it sister!!!!
Can you talk to my husband? He STILL cracks seafood and fish jokes about girl bits and thinks he is hilarious!
Love the pic, love the rant. Teenage boys best behave yo'selves!
Go you!
I hope you tore them a new one. Dont hesitate.
Thing is, vagina's don't smell. That is unless there is something going on down there like Thrush or an STD (STI? Fuck it, they're STD's as far as I'm concerned).
Spoof, cum, sperm, man juices...now THOSE stink.
Vagina's do NOT.
You're awesome. Teenage boys are horrible. You tell 'em. And tell the mothers of future teenage boys to teach their sons some manners, respect and facts about anatomy...
OH! Yes!! haha I am right with you there hun!
I had my ranty boots on the other day on my blog :) all vented...
u go get them boys!
No, I hate the one where they think because they are being a shit and you are cranky with them - you must have PMT! I'll give YOU PMT!!!
I want to go verbally mental on those juvvie assholes x
oh my this brings me back to my high school days when the boys in class would make horrible "fish" jokes to us girls!!! Bron...please go give them a piece of your mind. I can just imagine those smooth faced, beiber style boys running a mile!!!!
It's just so disrespectful and you wonder what type of role-model father figures these boys have had in their lives. And at their age they shouldn't even know about the smell of a vagina any more than they should know about the scent of Chanel No5.
YOU. Are Awesome. True.
well said! here here!
Oh nicely done! Very well put, hon.
I am doing everything in my power as a mother to teach MY boys about respecting women. They know I would tear them a new one (as would their father) if I ever heard any of them speak like that!
I love this post !
This made me laugh, but I find the fish thing offensive too. Thank the little stars that I've never had any grotty boys ever say that to me. Though I do remember being hassled for the first year or so of my high school life, by the boys at our 'brother' school. My, they were morons. Having had six older brothers, I handled it, but you're so right, girls SHOULDN'T have to handle those kinds of ignorant jibes.
You are da bomb!!!!!!! xoxo
What did the blind man say as he passed the fish market....."Good Morning Ladies"
Sorry, heard that one when I was fifteen. Didn't get it then...didn't get the joke either.
I apologize for all fifteen year old boys.
Oh 15 year old idiot boys. I hate this reference too. Especially since you are so right! Vaginas don't smell unless there is something wrong. And typically the something wrong comes about from having sex with men. So really it's all the fault of the penis.
I promise to instill in my son the value of not making derogatory remarks about a vagina. I can't promise it will work, but I am going to try!
Oh our society has such a long way to go in terms of respect for female bodies in general. It is such a huge problem. Teenage girls do generally have to put up with a lot of remarks that indicate a sense of shame around their bodies.
I have never heard this metaphor before (I'm glad!). But if I ever do, I will tell the vagina detractors that testicles and penises are no bundles of sweet peas themselves. Not to mention that said detractors emerged from a vagina themselves, and would they talk that way to their mothers?
Hi Maxabella.
Only in the last couple of days have I noticed an increase in the advertising of 'feminine products' to 'help' women with their 'feminine smells' - once again, an example of marketing playing on young women's insecurities, and reinforcing the message that a vagina in its natural state is dirty.
All these messages now add to the other inaccurate but socially acceptable misunderstandings about pubic hair and the many and varied shapes and sizes of female genitalia.
I will fight for my girls to have realistic values about their bodies. And honest opinion writing such as yours will assist us in our battle here.
Thank you so much for your post.
Ha! I overheard my nephew & his friends talking crap a few weeks ago, you know 15 & 16 year old boy crap talk about sex & girls & who's doing what with whom & one of the boys was being particularly gross about things & made the fish comment. I couldn't help myself, I poked my head in & kind of embarrassed the shit out of him. I basically told him that he musn't have been within 5 meters of a vagina if he thought that a particular girl's bits smelled like fish! And when he tried to defend himself I finished it off by telling him he had spoken like a true virgin. Needless to say he's not a fan of me anymore but in the words of his friends & my nephews he got 'owned'. Whatever the bloody hell that means! Ha!
I have the same issue when they use the word slut too. You tell em Bron!
Hear hear!
If I ever hear Baby C...once he can talk of course...tell a fish joke or any other joke disrespecting females there will be hell to pay!
I hope that he will not be the sort of boy who would even THINK those sorts of things but I am already coming up with punishments just in case...maybe a summer of putting the bins out for the local fish and chips shop?
Great post, Bron.
It is ironic, isn't it? Men pull the fish smell crap but let's be honest, boys- you never, ever hear women gushing about the gorgeous odour of a penis and the associated regions. At least we have enough decorum (and enough of a life) not to have to discuss it.
Hear hear! I'll be teaching my boys to never use the words fish and vagina in one sentence. Promise!
You go get em' !
Can I come watch when you give them your rant???!!! The looks on their faces would be priceless!
Best rant ever!
Oh my goodness this made me laugh, I'm coming for you and I'm bringing 25 years of pent up rage with me.
Absolutely love it.
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