Dinner at 6pm
Bath
Reading and stories
Marble jar rewards
Kiss goodnight at 7.30pm
20 minutes bedtime reading time
Tuck in with a song
Lights out at 8pm
Looks good - right? It's all there. Nice and strict, here's what we do, off you go, I'm clocking off.
Only, it doesn't end there. Those Tsunamis of mine come out of their bedrooms for water, toilet breaks, to tell us a joke, faaaaaaark. The other night Cappers casually sauntered in at 9pm to sit on the couch with a 'whatcha watching?'. I swear she was plumping cushions to get more comfortable as she said it.
We go into 'lock down' mode and threaten to cancel any ounce of fun the next day if they don't stay in their room and go to sleep. It works for a week or two, but slowly out they creep like water, finding tiny cracks in our armour and washing their way in. We have never once wavered from our bedtime routine, yet there they are, bedless.
Now, I have seen other children at bedtime and they are TIRED. They go to sleep fairly easily because once they are warmed up in their cosy flannel beds, the lights are already starting to dim. They might give a half-hearted call out for a glass of water, but their hearts aren't in it because secretly they just want to go to sleep. This is normal-child stuff. Forgive me if I think that parents who say to me "you just need to be more consistent" or "you just need to be more forceful" or "you just need to turn out the light and shut the door" are a tad annoying.
It's just that my children are not like that.
They are up with the larks and still up with the owls. Despite having the same bedtime routine their whole little lives, they still haven't cottoned on that bedtime is for sleep. So there they are still wandering the house like literate ghosts looking for books at 9.30pm because they are seemingly not tired and will never sleep. Maxi insists that he never sleeps, he only fakes it when I come in to check on him so I'll think he's a good boy. In reality he is "up all night with my marsupial friends". And I believe him. I really believe that that kid doesn't need to sleep because I gave birth to an energiser bunny with self-recharging batteries. He's on the right track, baby, he was born that way.
I ramble. See, look at me rambling away up there. Perhaps it's because I never. clock. off. It's a 24 hours a day gig parenting at my place and rambling on helps keep me awake. I talk, therefore I am.
Sigh. Energiser bunnies, huh. Who'd have 'em, right?
Are your kids tired at the end of the day?
[Image by Dara Quesada]
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31 comments:
ohhh goodness - i think i remember doing that to my parents... I am the last person to be giving ideas, being childless and all, but have you thought about giving the older two slightly later bed times? My brother and my bed times got a little bit (like 15 minutes) later the older we got from about 8 on. xsx
No! My kids are not tired at the end of the day either, they are NEVER tired. Coincidentally I have a Max as well and he is a machine...it is tiring. Max started school this year and I remember other mums saying to me that the kids get so tired when they start school that sometimes they fall asleep before dinner, yeah right, never happened in this household, in fact he comes home hyperactive. He does swimming, Gymnastics and rugby and still no sign of it tiring him. I read your post to my husband and we laughed, it was as though you were describing our house...so there you go you are not alone! Thanks for giving me a giggle.
The baby's a champion sleeper, but a crap eater who is always sick from the Orphanage...no one gets it all!!! xx
I soooo relate to this one!!! I have 3 energiser bunnies...even Lolly at 2 is up at 9pm...never sleeps int he day and never seems tired! xx
Ha! My Lil (5) also insists she never sleeps. She is awake all night apparently just pretending to sleep.
Oh man.
That's a tough gig there.
I won't tell you about my little sleeping lion in the next room.
That said, sleeping excessively has been a worrying symptom of his health issues lately - so I'm suffering a case of 'be careful what you wish for'itis.
Where's the balance, huh?!
xxx
See, my kids do this too, and I want to STAB the sayers in THE FACE with A FORK!!!
Mind you, I am not that strict with the bedtime, but mostly because my resistance has been ground down over the years. When my son was a baby, he would sleep maybe 15 mins MAX during the day, and then scream for 3 hours. He was 2 1/2 before he slept through the night. And my daughter was slightly better in the day but wouldn't sleep through till she was 3.
Some kids just aren't sleepers, and some are.
Getting kids to sleep through the night seems to be the parenting pot of gold at the end of the rainbow! I think it's true though that some kids are just more disposed to sleeping than others, no matter how strict you are.
I dread having to muster the energy to deal with a non-sleeping child as I love my sleep. I'm not sure I could manage it!!
Sarah
http://acatlikecuriosity.blogspot.co.uk/
Oh man am I hearing you! Bebito isn't too bad at bed time with wanderings etc but is a super early riser (like 4.30 early!) & wakes often during the night. The baby is about the crap-est sleeper ever which is how I am regularly up reading blogs at 3am. This last week has been the worst ever with him not sleeping during the day and at night. I am sure I've aged 10 years in a week. I swear I am losing my mind! One day we will laugh at this right? Right? X
I've never had bedtime rules of any kind, Bron, and Lew has always gone to bed at a similar time every night and woken at a similar time every day. He sleeps when he's tired and regulates his own sleeping routine. But he's a lot like me, early to bed and early to rise. I'm no night owl so thank the Lord I didn't get a night owl child. That would've near killed me. I know night owl parents who have night owl children and they struggle. Have you tried tried lavender on the pillow? Lavender in the bath? Lavender in an oil burner in their room before they go in? Lavender everywhere!! it really works for me. I can hardly ever burn lavender because I get too darn sleepy. Also, tissue salts. They are fantastic and you can get one for helping kids sleep better. They are not going to drug them out like brandy does;) LOL hope you get some sleep happening soon xx
My boys are pretty good at bedtime. Mr 2 likes to sing and chatter to himself for up to an hour, but the bigs (Mr 6 and Mr-almost-4) are up for a kip as soon as we kiss their heads.
The morning is a different story. Someone was up at 5.20 this morning. It's just plain rude. Some school mums have told me they have to wake their children before school ... I can't even imagine it!
Mine are the same as yours Bron! They never sleep! In their rooms early but in and out all night with requests for massages, more stories, drinks.....! And then every night we have a visitor who ends up in our bed! They are mostly up in the morning by 6am too just to rub salt into the wounds!!!
Baby C is only fourteen months but I already know we are in for exactly what you describe.
I see these pictures of babies who fall asleep in their highchair on in the shopping trolley or in the car...not Baby C!
I cannot imagine him ever sleeping anywhere except in his crib...and even then it is only after a lot of coaxing and cajoling!
I keep telling myself that someday he will be a teenager and then he will sleep!
We have bedtime wandering here too, although my kids are getting older. My boy ( the youngest) finds it really hard to get to sleep but he's never been a good sleeper in spite of following all the routine " rules". Even as a baby he used to lie awake a lot of the time and didn't stop waking during the night until he was four. I was a walking zombie. He is very active, has an OT come to school to help teach him and the teachers how to regulate his energy levels. She has offered some suggestions for slowing down before bed but we have yet to find just the right combination. Last thing we tried he burst into a fit of giggles ... not what you would call a success.
Our little boy who is now 3 has roller coastered through the same things you talked about. He's very good at procrastinating. Somewhere along the line though he started to settle. Now he pretty much stays in his bed at night and plays around. We have the occasional tantrum and resistance but I'm really pleased to say he's lapsed into something that makes it a bit easier to cope with. There was a time when he wore us down so much it was hard not to give in and let him sit with us on the couch or lie with us in our bed.
Our 2 yr old very rarely sleeps a full night, I hear his little footsteps in the middle of the night, he wanders in and says things with a cute grin like "You pat my bum?" Argh! And he'll sweet talk me by waking me up to tell me he loves me, just so I'll let him snuggle with him. I'm a sucker for a sweetheart x
hmm mine is only 16 months old so it is hard to tell. For her entire first year she was a crap sleeper. I threw out the sleep charts because they made me cry. She just didn't follow the rules, and never slept enough, and never slept without screaming screaming screaming. But now that she is on the move (toddling everywhere, always busy busy busy) she is totally buggered by the end of the day and finally, she sleeps. But this too could pass, I know!
Oh, wow. Ashleigh has always been a good sleeper. Touch wood, cross fingers, don't jinx it! She's two and still sleeps for one-two hours in the middle of the day as well. Bed at 7.30, rarely hear her before 7.00. She just needs sleep, that one. Like her dad.
Yes, she has a routine, and yes, we're strict with it, but we've never really been tested. It's just who she is.
My kids are exhausted at the end of the day, but still they venture out of those cosy beds!! We have the same set up, always have, except the routine for our two younger ones kicks off at 6pm. Yep, I'm clocking off then, done, brain is mush can't talk to you anymore after that! Still, they try..
The littlest knows that bed time is for sleep...sort of...but the boys both think that it is for reading. Even if that means it is past lights out but that's why God invented torches
apparently. We used to have a lot more toilet breaks past lights out time but a ban on books in the loo stifled that.
On the flip side, the kids have never gotten up before 6:30 and now stay quiet or even asleep till 7:30 or later. So at least we are only burning the candle at one end.
child one was perfect, sleeping through at 6 months, napping on command … easy peasy i thought. but pride comes before a fall, right? child two seems to be ALLERGIC to sleep and ditched her daytime nap when she was two. we had a routine all right … a routine that took up to three hours of in-room attention before she would ACTUALLY fall asleep.
we have, over SIX YEARS, slowly trimmed that routine down to half an hour on a good day. my only real piece of advice is to turn all the house lights down low from around an hour before bed time. it does seem to send signals to their little brains that it's time to slow down. good luck! xt
Faaark alright! I get this too. Although I am a little tighter on my time. Our tuck in starts at about 6:15pm. Yes early, I know. The water, and toilet trips are my main creepers. I do the threaten the good stuff for the next day... although am a sucker for caving in as I love the good stuff myself!
I think for me it will be a battle for years to come. I am a sucker. Although I did win on the earlier routine. I really should shut up, cause mine are asleep as I type this, and it is 7pm.
wishing you no creepers tonight xx
(great post) :)
Good one!
Mine doesn't get tired as well, although we have the whole routine is place as well. All that helps is that she sleeps until the sun is high up during weekends... But it doesn't help during the week!
Still searching for the solution!
OMG you just described an evening at our house Bron. Water, imaginary tummy aches, nightmares that have happened before they have even been asleep, the old "what are we doing tomorrow" -ummm going to school? and dont forget the i just need to tell you something really really important....ummmm ummmm I forgot! ha ha x
i love this post-have to forward it to my friend Debs-who has children like this. energiser bunnies breed energiser bunnies though, you are right!
Great post! Our little man is 2 this weekend and has never been a great sleeper. I can probably count on one hand how many nights he has slept through. Going to bed is hit & miss, some nights he doesn't make a sound, other nights (like tonight) he sings, talks to himself, yells out, kicks the wall, throws toys out of the cot. And then he usually wakes once or twice during the night. Hence our decision to delay moving him into a toddler bed, I'm dreading the nights where he can actually get up and wander out! The only upside to the crazy nights is he generally sleeps in til 8.30ish. Bub number 2 is due in a couple of months so should be loads of fun having a newborn and a crazy-sleeper toddler!
I'm almost 31 and still haven't cottoned onto the idea that bedtime = sleep! However, I'm not up with the larks, just up with the owls. I am tired in the morning and then wide awake at night. If I could I would get up at around 10.30 each morning and go to bed at about 2 or 3. Don't get me wrong, I love sleep, I just hate going/getting to sleep. There's always something else I could do first and then all of a sudden its 3am...
I love how every now and then when we're watching TV, Bell casually wanders out and sits down like she had just been in the kitchen making a cuppa, and now she's back! 10 points for trying i guess.
With the Munchkin there is a little window (around 7.30-8pm). It's taken us a while to sort it out and we have to be complete bedtime Nazis about it, but magically it works. Miss the window though and it's like he gets a second wind - Energiser Bunny strikes again. Considering how hard he goes during the day, I must say I am eternally grateful he sleeps pretty well!
My children all have their moments. I love watching ABC 24 non-stop so they don't tend to venture out much to see what I'm watching on the tele!!!
... but what I really want to know... and I why I clicked over from my reader is what is a marble jar reward??? Sounds good! Do tell. Please.
I don't know that it's that he is tired, but he certainly stays quiet and goes to sleep. No idea how we scored that. But 6:30pm bedtime, and that's that.
Was always our saviour because he was a TERRIBLE day sleeper. THANK GOODNESS he slept well at night to make up for it. Night time = our time!
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